These pictures were taken by a French photographer,
Alain Delorme in Shanghai throughout 2009 & 2010.
He called the series, Totems.
These couriers - mostly migrant workers from other parts of China - not only need strong legs but also acrobatic skills to balance these massive loads on their tricycles & bicycles while on the move.
A lot of you must be wondering where the centre of gravity is in each case.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
The Universal Law of Cause and Effect
YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW!!!
The man slowly looked up. This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer things of life. Her coat was new. She looked like she had never missed a meal in her life. His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of him, like so many others had done before. "No," he answered sarcastically. "I've just come from dining with the president.. Now go away."
The woman's smile became even broader.
"Leave me alone," he growled... To his amazement, the woman continued standing. She was smiling -- her even white teeth displayed in dazzling rows. "Are you hungry?" she asked.
Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm. "What are you doing, lady?" the man asked angrily. "I said to leave me alone." Just then a policeman came up. "Is there any problem, ma'am?" he asked....
"No problem here, officer," the woman answered. "I'm just trying to get this man to his feet. Will you help me?"
The officer scratched his head. "That's old Jack. He's been a fixture around here for a couple of years. What do you want with him?"
"See that cafeteria over there?" she asked. "I'm going to get him something to eat and get him out of the cold for awhile."
"Are you crazy, lady?" the homeless man resisted. "I don't want to go in there!" Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up. "Let me go, officer. I didn't do anything.."
"This is a good deal for you, Jack," the officer answered. "Don't blow it."
Finally, and with some difficulty, the woman and the police officer got Jack into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote corner. It was the middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd had already left and the lunch bunch had not yet arrived.
The manager strode across the cafeteria and stood by his table. "What's going on here, officer?" he asked. "What is all this, is this man in trouble?" "This lady brought this man in here to be fed," the policeman answered.
"Not in here!" the manager replied angrily. "Having a person like that here is bad for business."
Old Jack smiled a toothless grin. "See, lady. I told you so. Now if you'll let me go. I didn't want to come here in the first place."
The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled. "Sir, are you familiar with Eddy and Associates, the banking firm down the street?"
"Of course I am," the manager answered impatiently. "They hold their weekly meetings in one of my banquet rooms."
"And do you make a goodly amount of money providing food at these weekly meetings?"
"What business is that of yours?"
"I, sir, am Penelope Eddy, president and CEO of the company." "Oh.." The woman smiled again... "I thought that might make a difference."
She glanced at the cop who was busy stifling a laugh. "Would you like to join us in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?"
"No thanks, ma'am," the officer replied. "I'm on duty."
"Then, perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?"
"Yes, ma'am. That would be very nice." The cafeteria manager turned on his heel. "I'll get your coffee for you right away, officer."
The officer watched him walk away. "You certainly put him in his place," he said. "That was not my intent... Believe it or not, I have a reason for all this."
She sat down at the table across from her amazed dinner guest. She stared at him intently. "Jack, do you remember me?"
Old Jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes. "I think so -- I mean you do look familiar."
"I'm a little older perhaps," she said. "Maybe I've even filled out more than in my younger days when you worked here, and I came through that very door, cold and hungry.."
"Ma'am?" the officer said questioningly. He couldn't believe that such a magnificently turned out woman could ever have been hungry. "I was just out of college," the woman began. "I had come to the city looking for a job, but I couldn't find anything. Finally I was down to my last few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment. I walked the streets for days. It was February and I was cold and nearly starving. I saw this place and walked in on the off chance that I could get something to eat."
Jack lit up with a smile. "Now I remember," he said. "I was behind the serving counter. You came up and asked me if you could work for something to eat. I said that it was against company policy."
"I know," the woman continued. "Then you made me the biggest roast beef sandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go over to a corner table and enjoy it. I was afraid that you would get into trouble. Then, when I looked over and saw you put the price of my food in the cash register. I knew then that everything would be all right."
"So you started your own business?" Old Jack said.
"I got a job that very afternoon. I worked my way up. Eventually I started my own business that, with the help of God, prospered.."
She opened her purse and pulled out a business card. "When you are finished here, I want you to pay a visit to a Mr.... Lyons . He's the personnel director of my company. I'll go talk to him now and I'm certain he'll find something for you to do around the office." She smiled. "I think he might even find the funds to give you a little advance so that you can buy some clothes and get a place to live until you get on your feet. If you ever need anything, my door is always open to you."
There were tears in the old man's eyes. "How can I ever thank you?" he asked..
"Don't thank me," the woman answered. "To God goes the glory.. He led me to you."
Outside the cafeteria, the officer and the woman paused at the entrance before going their separate ways..
"Thank you for all your help, officer," she said.
"On the contrary, Ms. Eddy," he answered. "Thank you. I saw a miracle today, something that I will never forget. And.....And thank you for the coffee."
"Have a Wonderful Day. May God Bless You Always and don't forget that when you 'cast your bread upon the waters,' you never know how it will be returned to you."
God is so big He can cover the whole world with his Love and so small He can curl up inside your heart. When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go. Only 1 of 2 things will happen: either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly!
The power of one sentence:
God is going to shift things around for you today and let things work in your favour. If you believe, send it. If you don't believe, delete it. God closes doors no man can open & God opens doors no man can close..
If you need God to open some doors for you...send this on. Have a blessed day and remember to be a blessing.....
The man slowly looked up. This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer things of life. Her coat was new. She looked like she had never missed a meal in her life. His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of him, like so many others had done before. "No," he answered sarcastically. "I've just come from dining with the president.. Now go away."
The woman's smile became even broader.
"Leave me alone," he growled... To his amazement, the woman continued standing. She was smiling -- her even white teeth displayed in dazzling rows. "Are you hungry?" she asked.
Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm. "What are you doing, lady?" the man asked angrily. "I said to leave me alone." Just then a policeman came up. "Is there any problem, ma'am?" he asked....
"No problem here, officer," the woman answered. "I'm just trying to get this man to his feet. Will you help me?"
The officer scratched his head. "That's old Jack. He's been a fixture around here for a couple of years. What do you want with him?"
"See that cafeteria over there?" she asked. "I'm going to get him something to eat and get him out of the cold for awhile."
"Are you crazy, lady?" the homeless man resisted. "I don't want to go in there!" Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up. "Let me go, officer. I didn't do anything.."
"This is a good deal for you, Jack," the officer answered. "Don't blow it."
Finally, and with some difficulty, the woman and the police officer got Jack into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote corner. It was the middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd had already left and the lunch bunch had not yet arrived.
The manager strode across the cafeteria and stood by his table. "What's going on here, officer?" he asked. "What is all this, is this man in trouble?" "This lady brought this man in here to be fed," the policeman answered.
"Not in here!" the manager replied angrily. "Having a person like that here is bad for business."
Old Jack smiled a toothless grin. "See, lady. I told you so. Now if you'll let me go. I didn't want to come here in the first place."
The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled. "Sir, are you familiar with Eddy and Associates, the banking firm down the street?"
"Of course I am," the manager answered impatiently. "They hold their weekly meetings in one of my banquet rooms."
"And do you make a goodly amount of money providing food at these weekly meetings?"
"What business is that of yours?"
"I, sir, am Penelope Eddy, president and CEO of the company." "Oh.." The woman smiled again... "I thought that might make a difference."
She glanced at the cop who was busy stifling a laugh. "Would you like to join us in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?"
"No thanks, ma'am," the officer replied. "I'm on duty."
"Then, perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?"
"Yes, ma'am. That would be very nice." The cafeteria manager turned on his heel. "I'll get your coffee for you right away, officer."
The officer watched him walk away. "You certainly put him in his place," he said. "That was not my intent... Believe it or not, I have a reason for all this."
She sat down at the table across from her amazed dinner guest. She stared at him intently. "Jack, do you remember me?"
Old Jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes. "I think so -- I mean you do look familiar."
"I'm a little older perhaps," she said. "Maybe I've even filled out more than in my younger days when you worked here, and I came through that very door, cold and hungry.."
"Ma'am?" the officer said questioningly. He couldn't believe that such a magnificently turned out woman could ever have been hungry. "I was just out of college," the woman began. "I had come to the city looking for a job, but I couldn't find anything. Finally I was down to my last few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment. I walked the streets for days. It was February and I was cold and nearly starving. I saw this place and walked in on the off chance that I could get something to eat."
Jack lit up with a smile. "Now I remember," he said. "I was behind the serving counter. You came up and asked me if you could work for something to eat. I said that it was against company policy."
"I know," the woman continued. "Then you made me the biggest roast beef sandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go over to a corner table and enjoy it. I was afraid that you would get into trouble. Then, when I looked over and saw you put the price of my food in the cash register. I knew then that everything would be all right."
"So you started your own business?" Old Jack said.
"I got a job that very afternoon. I worked my way up. Eventually I started my own business that, with the help of God, prospered.."
She opened her purse and pulled out a business card. "When you are finished here, I want you to pay a visit to a Mr.... Lyons . He's the personnel director of my company. I'll go talk to him now and I'm certain he'll find something for you to do around the office." She smiled. "I think he might even find the funds to give you a little advance so that you can buy some clothes and get a place to live until you get on your feet. If you ever need anything, my door is always open to you."
There were tears in the old man's eyes. "How can I ever thank you?" he asked..
"Don't thank me," the woman answered. "To God goes the glory.. He led me to you."
Outside the cafeteria, the officer and the woman paused at the entrance before going their separate ways..
"Thank you for all your help, officer," she said.
"On the contrary, Ms. Eddy," he answered. "Thank you. I saw a miracle today, something that I will never forget. And.....And thank you for the coffee."
"Have a Wonderful Day. May God Bless You Always and don't forget that when you 'cast your bread upon the waters,' you never know how it will be returned to you."
God is so big He can cover the whole world with his Love and so small He can curl up inside your heart. When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go. Only 1 of 2 things will happen: either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly!
The power of one sentence:
God is going to shift things around for you today and let things work in your favour. If you believe, send it. If you don't believe, delete it. God closes doors no man can open & God opens doors no man can close..
If you need God to open some doors for you...send this on. Have a blessed day and remember to be a blessing.....
Sunday, August 28, 2011
KAWASAN SPEED TRAP.
maklumat di bawah tidak dapat disahkan namun pembaca diminta berhati-hati dijalan raya semasa memandu dan ingat orang tersayang.
Plus Arah Utara (Dari KL):
1- Km 197.1, Km 198.8 & Km 204.3 selepas exit Kemunting
2- Km 208 & Km 214.8 sebelum exit Kemunting
3- Km 271 berdekataan exit Ipoh Selatan
4- Km 274.4 berdekatan exit Ipoh Utara
5- Km 286.9 berdekatan exit Simpang Pulai
6- Km 296 berdekatan exit Gopeng
7- Km 352.6 selepas exit Sungkai
8- Km 373 berdekatan exit Slim River
9- Km 241.9 berdekatan exit Kuala Kangsar
10- Km 308.6 selepas exit Gopeng
11- Km 252 masa turun bukit selepas terowong Menora
12- Km tak pasti tapi betul2 di R&R Gurun
13- 2 km after tol Juru (90km/j)
14- 5 kamera di atas jambatan pulau pinang (so slow je la kat situ)
Plus Arah Selatan:
1- Km 289 sebelum exit Nilai Selatan
2- Ada 3 kamera antara Km 255 - Km 249 (Persimpangan Seremban - Senawang)
3- Km 253 selepas exit Senawang
4- Km 213.9 selepas exit Alor Gajah
5- Betul2 di exit Jasin
6- Km tak pasti tapi selepas hentian sebelah Tangkak
7- Km juga tak pasti tapi jambatan pertama selepas exit Yong Peng utara
8- Km 97.3 selepas exit Air Hitam
9- Betul2 di exit Sedenak
Plus Tengah:
1- Km 456 selepas exit Sungai Buluh
2- Betul2 di exit Bukit Lanjan
3- Betul2 dibawah Restoran Jejantas Sg Buloh
4- Km 302.8 berdekatan exit Kajang
5- Km 296.5 & Km 297 berdekatan exit Bangi
NKVE
1- 300 meter sebelum tol Jalan Duta (60 km/j)
2- Selepas cabang jalan ke tol Jalan Duta (80km/j)
3- Betul2 di exit Damansara
4- Km 11.2 berdekatan rel keretapi
5- Betul2 di exit Shah Alam
Jaga-jaga
KESAS
1- Km 44.8 berdekatan exit LDP
2- Berhadapan Endah Parade
3- Betul2 di exit Hicom
ELITE (Dari arah KLIA)
1- Km 4.8 selepas exit Batu 3
2- Km 2 - Km 4 atas jambatan berdekatan Makro
3- Betul2 kat bawah restoran jejantas USJ
4- Km 10 sebelum exit USJ
JALAN PERSEKUTUAN
1- Bersebelahan Hotel Mint
2- Berdekatan Esso kat exit Salak Selatan
3- Berhadapan dengan Istana Negara
4- Berhadapan dengan Muzium Negara
5- Kawasan turun bukit selepas pekan Raub (Menghala Kuala Lipis)
6- 2 km sebelum pekan Maran (Arah Kuantan)
7- Area Paya Bungor (Arah Kuantan)
8- Selepas exit ke Bentong (Menghala ke LPT)
9- Jalan Gambang - Kuantan (Turun bukit selepas Matrikulasi Pahang)
10- Berhadapan dengan Mini Malaysia Melaka (70km/j)
11- Berhadapan dengan Zoo Melaka (70 km/j)
12- Bawah jambatan dari Banting ke KLIA (80 km/j)
13- Berhadapan dengan Kolej Inti, Nilai
14- Persimpangan Sg Manggis menghala ke Klang (60 km/j)
15- Berhadapan Tesco Klang (70 km/j)
16- Jambatan berdekatan rumah MB Selangor kat Pasir Panjang (70km/j)
17- 2 km selepas sempadan Perak-Selangor di Jalan Sabak Bernam (berdekatan kilang kelapa sawit)
18- Laluan bertingkat antara USM ke Bayan Lepas
19- Jelutong expressway berdekatan Tesco Pulau Pinang
20- MRR2 antara simpang Taman Melati & Wangsa Maju
21- MRR2 berhadapan Mikro Cheras
22- MRR2 ke damansara,antara batu cave ke Bandar baru selayang
Plus Arah Utara (Dari KL):
1- Km 197.1, Km 198.8 & Km 204.3 selepas exit Kemunting
2- Km 208 & Km 214.8 sebelum exit Kemunting
3- Km 271 berdekataan exit Ipoh Selatan
4- Km 274.4 berdekatan exit Ipoh Utara
5- Km 286.9 berdekatan exit Simpang Pulai
6- Km 296 berdekatan exit Gopeng
7- Km 352.6 selepas exit Sungkai
8- Km 373 berdekatan exit Slim River
9- Km 241.9 berdekatan exit Kuala Kangsar
10- Km 308.6 selepas exit Gopeng
11- Km 252 masa turun bukit selepas terowong Menora
12- Km tak pasti tapi betul2 di R&R Gurun
13- 2 km after tol Juru (90km/j)
14- 5 kamera di atas jambatan pulau pinang (so slow je la kat situ)
Plus Arah Selatan:
1- Km 289 sebelum exit Nilai Selatan
2- Ada 3 kamera antara Km 255 - Km 249 (Persimpangan Seremban - Senawang)
3- Km 253 selepas exit Senawang
4- Km 213.9 selepas exit Alor Gajah
5- Betul2 di exit Jasin
6- Km tak pasti tapi selepas hentian sebelah Tangkak
7- Km juga tak pasti tapi jambatan pertama selepas exit Yong Peng utara
8- Km 97.3 selepas exit Air Hitam
9- Betul2 di exit Sedenak
Plus Tengah:
1- Km 456 selepas exit Sungai Buluh
2- Betul2 di exit Bukit Lanjan
3- Betul2 dibawah Restoran Jejantas Sg Buloh
4- Km 302.8 berdekatan exit Kajang
5- Km 296.5 & Km 297 berdekatan exit Bangi
NKVE
1- 300 meter sebelum tol Jalan Duta (60 km/j)
2- Selepas cabang jalan ke tol Jalan Duta (80km/j)
3- Betul2 di exit Damansara
4- Km 11.2 berdekatan rel keretapi
5- Betul2 di exit Shah Alam
Jaga-jaga
KESAS
1- Km 44.8 berdekatan exit LDP
2- Berhadapan Endah Parade
3- Betul2 di exit Hicom
ELITE (Dari arah KLIA)
1- Km 4.8 selepas exit Batu 3
2- Km 2 - Km 4 atas jambatan berdekatan Makro
3- Betul2 kat bawah restoran jejantas USJ
4- Km 10 sebelum exit USJ
JALAN PERSEKUTUAN
1- Bersebelahan Hotel Mint
2- Berdekatan Esso kat exit Salak Selatan
3- Berhadapan dengan Istana Negara
4- Berhadapan dengan Muzium Negara
5- Kawasan turun bukit selepas pekan Raub (Menghala Kuala Lipis)
6- 2 km sebelum pekan Maran (Arah Kuantan)
7- Area Paya Bungor (Arah Kuantan)
8- Selepas exit ke Bentong (Menghala ke LPT)
9- Jalan Gambang - Kuantan (Turun bukit selepas Matrikulasi Pahang)
10- Berhadapan dengan Mini Malaysia Melaka (70km/j)
11- Berhadapan dengan Zoo Melaka (70 km/j)
12- Bawah jambatan dari Banting ke KLIA (80 km/j)
13- Berhadapan dengan Kolej Inti, Nilai
14- Persimpangan Sg Manggis menghala ke Klang (60 km/j)
15- Berhadapan Tesco Klang (70 km/j)
16- Jambatan berdekatan rumah MB Selangor kat Pasir Panjang (70km/j)
17- 2 km selepas sempadan Perak-Selangor di Jalan Sabak Bernam (berdekatan kilang kelapa sawit)
18- Laluan bertingkat antara USM ke Bayan Lepas
19- Jelutong expressway berdekatan Tesco Pulau Pinang
20- MRR2 antara simpang Taman Melati & Wangsa Maju
21- MRR2 berhadapan Mikro Cheras
22- MRR2 ke damansara,antara batu cave ke Bandar baru selayang
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Joking around
Top Joke in Australia
A young man went to his father one day to tell him that
He wanted to get married.
His father was happy for him. He asked his son who the
Girl was, and he told him that it was Samantha, a girl from
The neighborhood.
With a sad face the old man said to his son,
''I'm sorry to say this son but I have to. The
Girl you want to marry is your sister, but please don't tell your mother.''
The young man again brought three more names to his
Father but ended up frustrated because the response was
Still the same.
So he decides to go to his mother.
''Mom I want to get married but all the girls that
I love, dad said they are my sisters and I mustn't tell you.''
His mother smiling said to him,
''Don't worry my son, you can marry any of
Those girls. You're not his son.
----------------------------------
Ah Beng, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire himself out as a handyman and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. He went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for him to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
Beng said "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told him that the paint and ladders that he might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does he realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "He should. He was standing on the porch."
A short time later, Ah Beng came to the door to collect his money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," Ah Beng answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," Ah Beng added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Fellali."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
SMILE
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to show them what has happened. A Detective Inspector is sent and is taken to the first body.
'Clinton, 60, died of heart failure whilst in bed with his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector,' says the Coroner.
The DI is taken to the second dead man. Kent, 70, made a pile from government funds, and spent it all on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.
'Nothing unusual here', thinks the DI, and asks to be shown the last body.
Ah,' says the coroner. 'This is the most unusual one. Micheal, 75, struck by lightning.'
'Why is he smiling then?' inquires the Inspector.
To which the coroner replies, 'He thought he was having his picture taken.'
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE FIRST MAN IN SPACE
Mugabe finally sends his men into space courtesy of the Russians. Finally, after months of training, the astronaut and a chimpanzee are blasted off into space.
Once in orbit, the astronaut waits for instructions. The screen flickers and the instructions are flashed on it:
"Chimpanzee, execute space maneuver No. 23B"
The chimp takes over flight control and carries out the maneuver. The astronaut is impressed but patient... he knows his instructions will come and they'll probably be more complex than what the chimp just did.
The screen flickers again and more instructions appear:
"Chimpanzee, carry out scientific experiment No. 234"
The chimp goes to the lab and mixes chemicals and carries out all sorts of complex scientific experiments. While he's doing this, the astronaut is impatient. He speaks to Ground Control through the communication link: "Eh Control, how come I got nothing to do man... train for so long but the monyet does all the important work but I'm smarter than the monyet"
Finally Ground Control responds: "Be patient, your instructions are coming soon"
Finally, the monkey rejoins the astronaut and they wait for the instructions from the screen.
The screen flickers and the message appears....
"Prepare for new instructions...."
A small door under the screen opens. Inside, there is a compartment with a wrapped item inside.....
"Mr astronaut, remove the item and unwrap then wait for further instructions"
The astronaut unwraps the item and finds a banana inside. "Must be biogenetic banana" he thinks...
The screen flickers again....
"Mrastronaut please feed the monkey
A young man went to his father one day to tell him that
He wanted to get married.
His father was happy for him. He asked his son who the
Girl was, and he told him that it was Samantha, a girl from
The neighborhood.
With a sad face the old man said to his son,
''I'm sorry to say this son but I have to. The
Girl you want to marry is your sister, but please don't tell your mother.''
The young man again brought three more names to his
Father but ended up frustrated because the response was
Still the same.
So he decides to go to his mother.
''Mom I want to get married but all the girls that
I love, dad said they are my sisters and I mustn't tell you.''
His mother smiling said to him,
''Don't worry my son, you can marry any of
Those girls. You're not his son.
----------------------------------
Ah Beng, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire himself out as a handyman and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. He went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for him to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
Beng said "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told him that the paint and ladders that he might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does he realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "He should. He was standing on the porch."
A short time later, Ah Beng came to the door to collect his money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," Ah Beng answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," Ah Beng added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Fellali."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
SMILE
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to show them what has happened. A Detective Inspector is sent and is taken to the first body.
'Clinton, 60, died of heart failure whilst in bed with his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector,' says the Coroner.
The DI is taken to the second dead man. Kent, 70, made a pile from government funds, and spent it all on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.
'Nothing unusual here', thinks the DI, and asks to be shown the last body.
Ah,' says the coroner. 'This is the most unusual one. Micheal, 75, struck by lightning.'
'Why is he smiling then?' inquires the Inspector.
To which the coroner replies, 'He thought he was having his picture taken.'
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE FIRST MAN IN SPACE
Mugabe finally sends his men into space courtesy of the Russians. Finally, after months of training, the astronaut and a chimpanzee are blasted off into space.
Once in orbit, the astronaut waits for instructions. The screen flickers and the instructions are flashed on it:
"Chimpanzee, execute space maneuver No. 23B"
The chimp takes over flight control and carries out the maneuver. The astronaut is impressed but patient... he knows his instructions will come and they'll probably be more complex than what the chimp just did.
The screen flickers again and more instructions appear:
"Chimpanzee, carry out scientific experiment No. 234"
The chimp goes to the lab and mixes chemicals and carries out all sorts of complex scientific experiments. While he's doing this, the astronaut is impatient. He speaks to Ground Control through the communication link: "Eh Control, how come I got nothing to do man... train for so long but the monyet does all the important work but I'm smarter than the monyet"
Finally Ground Control responds: "Be patient, your instructions are coming soon"
Finally, the monkey rejoins the astronaut and they wait for the instructions from the screen.
The screen flickers and the message appears....
"Prepare for new instructions...."
A small door under the screen opens. Inside, there is a compartment with a wrapped item inside.....
"Mr astronaut, remove the item and unwrap then wait for further instructions"
The astronaut unwraps the item and finds a banana inside. "Must be biogenetic banana" he thinks...
The screen flickers again....
"Mrastronaut please feed the monkey
Friday, August 26, 2011
Eight Gifts
That Don't Cost A Cent To Give . . .
BUT GUARANTEED TO BE APPRECIATED
1) THE GIFT OF LISTENING...
But you must REALLY listen.
No interrupting, no daydreaming,
no planning your response.
Just listening.
2) THE GIFT OF AFFECTION...
Be generous with appropriate hugs,
kisses, pats on the back and handholds.
Let these small actions demonstrate
the love you have for family and friends.
3) THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER...
Funny pictures.
Share articles, funny stories and funny greetings.
Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."
4) THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE...
It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet.
A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime,
and may even change a life.
5) THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT...
A simple and sincere,
"You look great in red,"
"You did a super job" or
"That was a wonderful meal"
can make someone's day.
6) THE GIFT OF A FAVOUR...
Every day, go out of your way to do something kind.
Helping the elderly cross the road can be nice.
7) THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE...
There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone.
Be sensitive to those times and
give the gift of solitude to others.
8) THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION...
The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone,
it's not that hard to say, Hello or Thank You.
Author Unknown
BUT GUARANTEED TO BE APPRECIATED
1) THE GIFT OF LISTENING...
But you must REALLY listen.
No interrupting, no daydreaming,
no planning your response.
Just listening.
2) THE GIFT OF AFFECTION...
Be generous with appropriate hugs,
kisses, pats on the back and handholds.
Let these small actions demonstrate
the love you have for family and friends.
3) THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER...
Funny pictures.
Share articles, funny stories and funny greetings.
Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."
4) THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE...
It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet.
A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime,
and may even change a life.
5) THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT...
A simple and sincere,
"You look great in red,"
"You did a super job" or
"That was a wonderful meal"
can make someone's day.
6) THE GIFT OF A FAVOUR...
Every day, go out of your way to do something kind.
Helping the elderly cross the road can be nice.
7) THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE...
There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone.
Be sensitive to those times and
give the gift of solitude to others.
8) THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION...
The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone,
it's not that hard to say, Hello or Thank You.
Author Unknown
Thursday, August 25, 2011
The Miracle Drink
Guys, no harm trying this fruits juice, you hv everything to gain and nothing to
The Miracle Drink
Anyone can try this ?
Miracle Drink: Carrot, Beet Root and Apple
This MIRACLE DRINK has been circulating for a long time long ago. It is worth your while to take note. There is a celebrity Mr. Seto who swears by it. He wants to make it public to draw the attention of people who have cancers. This is a drink that can protect bad cells forming in your body or it will restrain its growth! Mr. Seto had lung cancer. He was recommended to take this drink by a famous Herbalist from China. He has taken this drink diligently for 3 months and now his health is restored, and he is ready to take a pleasure trip. Thanks to this drink! It does not hurt for you to try.
It is like a Miracle Drink! It is simple
You need one beet root, one carrot and one apple that combine together to make the JUICE !
Wash the above, cut with the skin on into pieces and put them into the juicer and immediately you drink the juice. You can add some lime or lemon for more refreshing taste.
This Miracle Drink will be effective for the following ailments:
1. Prevent cancer cells to develop. It will restrain cancer cells to grow.
2. Prevent liver, kidney, pancreas disease and it can cure ulcer as well.
3. Strengthen the lung, prevent heart attack and high blood pressure.
4. Strengthen the immune system
5. Good for the eyesight, eliminate red and tired eyes or dry eyes
6. Help to eliminate pain from physical training, muscle ache
7. Detoxify, assist bowel movement, eliminate constipation. Therefore it will make skin healthy & LOOK more radiant. It is God sent for acne problem.
8. Improve bad breath due to indigestion, throat infection,
9. Lessen menstrual pain
10. Assist Hay Fever Sufferer from Hay Fever attack.
There is absolutely no side effect. Highly nutritious and easily absorbs! Very effective if you need to loose weight. You will notice your immune system will be improved after 2 week routine. Please make sure to drink immediately from the juicer for best effect.
WHEN TO DRINK IT:
DRINK IT FIRST THING IN THE MORNING WITH THE EMPTY STOMACH! AFTER ONE HOUR YOU CAN EAT BREAKFAST. FOR FAST RESULTS DRINK 2 TIMES A DAY, IN THE MORNING AND BEFORE 5 P.M.
YOU WILL NEVER REGRET! IT DOES NOT COST YOU MUCH MONEY!
PLEASE CIRCULATE TO YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Alien Monkey in China
Sunday, August 21, 2011
resepi kuah kacang
Bahan-Bahan:
180 gm kacang tanah (goreng dan tumbuk separuh hancur)
2 sudu kecil asam jawa
5 sudu kecil gula
1 ½ sudu kecil garam Bahan-bahan kisar:
15 biji cili kering
2 ulas bawang putih
12 ulas bawang merah
3 batang serai
1 sudu besar ketumbar
1 sudu kecil jintan manis
1 sudu kecil jintan putih
5 biji buah keras
1 ½ cm belacan
Cara:
1. Kisarkan terlebih dahulu cili kering, bawang putih, bawang merah, serai, ketumbar, jintan manis, jintan putih, buah keras dan belacan sehingga benar-benar mesra.
2. Panaskan minyak di dalam kuali dan tumiskan bahan-bahan kisar tadi sehingga terbit minyak.
3. Setelah itu masukkan kacang yang telah ditumbuk tadi (anda boleh memasukkan santan jika perlu).
4. Panaskan dengan api yang perlahan.
5. Seterusnya masukkan asam jawa, gula dan garam.
6. Masak selama 5 minit sebelum boleh dihidangkan bersama sate.
7. Sila jemput sanak saudara untuk menjamu selera...
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Short pot
A wife is somebody who won't tell you what to do but will get mad when you don't do what she wanted you to do.
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Before you talk, listen. Before you react, think. Before you criticize, wait. Before you pray, forgive. Before you quit, try.
--------------------------------------
Why I don't watch news and read newspaper anymore nowadays.
SITUASI SEBENAR : Seorang nenek pergi kedai beli ubi, tiba-tiba dilanggar beca lalu mati di tempat kejadian.
Buletin Utama - "Nenek meninggal dunia, pemandu beca dicari."
Harian Metro - "Hangat! Nenek mati dengan ubi di tangan!"
Utusan Malaysia - "Nenek mati dilanggar beca satu propaganda pembangkang?"
Harakah - "Beca yg digunakan bukan milik Pakatan Rakyat"
Malaysiakini - "Beca langgar lari bukti kerajaan tidak prihatin."
Obefiend - "Nenek meleis mati. Aku suka vodka."
Twitter @NajibRazak - "Nenek sanggup mati kerana ubi, menunjukkan ubi 1Malaysia berkualiti dan digemari rakyat!"
Blog Melayu Paranoid - "Keraguan sijil halal ubi mungkin punca nenek mati dilanggar beca."
Pancaindera - "Kisah nenek dilanggar beca diabadikan dalam filem terbaru David Teo, Gangster Penarik Beca ."
Mastika - "Misteri penarik beca: Temubual eksklusif dengan hantu ubi.!!"
--------------------------------------
Before you talk, listen. Before you react, think. Before you criticize, wait. Before you pray, forgive. Before you quit, try.
--------------------------------------
Why I don't watch news and read newspaper anymore nowadays.
SITUASI SEBENAR : Seorang nenek pergi kedai beli ubi, tiba-tiba dilanggar beca lalu mati di tempat kejadian.
Buletin Utama - "Nenek meninggal dunia, pemandu beca dicari."
Harian Metro - "Hangat! Nenek mati dengan ubi di tangan!"
Utusan Malaysia - "Nenek mati dilanggar beca satu propaganda pembangkang?"
Harakah - "Beca yg digunakan bukan milik Pakatan Rakyat"
Malaysiakini - "Beca langgar lari bukti kerajaan tidak prihatin."
Obefiend - "Nenek meleis mati. Aku suka vodka."
Twitter @NajibRazak - "Nenek sanggup mati kerana ubi, menunjukkan ubi 1Malaysia berkualiti dan digemari rakyat!"
Blog Melayu Paranoid - "Keraguan sijil halal ubi mungkin punca nenek mati dilanggar beca."
Pancaindera - "Kisah nenek dilanggar beca diabadikan dalam filem terbaru David Teo, Gangster Penarik Beca ."
Mastika - "Misteri penarik beca: Temubual eksklusif dengan hantu ubi.!!"
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
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