Singapore's Origin

(i'm sure uncle reme will have the last laugh on this)

How Singapore got its name

Version 1: When Raffles stepped out of his boat on to Boat Quay, a man was running by announcing the birth of his son in Hokkien, 'see ta poh, see ta poh.'

Version 2: I thought the story was like this: The Malay/Indian King, Parameswara, was sleeping under a tree and was dreaming. He was rudely awakened by an animal resembling a lion. So, out of shock, he screamed 'Singa porda! Singa porda!' (which means, 'lion, get lost!')

Version 3: When Raffles sailed up the Singapore river for the first time, a Malay lady was bathing in the river, having left her clothes on the river bank. A Singh came by and stole her clothes. The upset lady started shouting after him, 'Singh Kapoh, Singh Kapoh'...

Version 4: 'Singapore' was actually translated from the name 'Singapura' in Bahasa Malaysia. Story goes that there was a prince that came to our island many years ago, on an exploration trip. Then he suddenly saw a lion and he named our island 'Singapura', which means lion city. Imagine if he had seen a pig instead of a lion. ('pig' in Malay is 'Babi')

Singapore and The Government

Two British men and a lady stranded on a desert island — they each took gentlemanly turns with the lady.

Two Italian men and a lady stranded on a desert island - the two fought and one killed the other to have the lady.

Two American men and a lady stranded on a desert island — they both had the lady together.

Two French men and a lady stranded on a desert island — they killed the lady to have each other.

Two Australian men and a lady stranded on a desert island — both dug until they found COLD beer, drank and passed out before they get to the lady.

Two Singaporean men and a lady stranded on a desert island — they are still waiting for instructions from the GOVERNMENT.

Philosophy

Singapore and Malaysia have different philosophies of life. This becomes apparent when we compare the two countries' Rules of Simple Living.

Singapore 1 - One Wife 2 - Two Children 3 - Three Bedroom Condo 4 - Four Wheels 5 - Five Figure Salary And indeed that is why 'Singapore is Solid'!

Malaysia? Well.. Malaysia 5 - Five Children 4 - Four Wives 3 - Three Figure Salary 2 - Two Wheels

Buying Brains

Dr M has great difficulty trying to find solutions to his country's economic and currency problems. He knows his brain isn't working well now. So he decides to go to the United States to have a brain transplant. He thought that with a new brain, he can think better and can find better solutions to the problems. The neurosurgeon asked Dr M if he wanted a cheap brain or an expensive one. Cheap brains are Singapore brains while the expensive ones are Malaysian brains. Dr M was simply overjoyed. He could not stop laughing. He said, 'At last, we have something more valuable than they have!' While smiling from ear to ear, and out of curiosity, he asked the neurosurgeon, 'but why are Singapore brains so cheap and Malaysian brains so expensive?' The neurosurgeon replied 'Oh, its very simple. These Singaporeans really overuse their brains. They don't just plan 1 or 5 years ahead. They plan a generation ahead. Malaysians, on the other hand, hardly use their brains. These brains are virtually brand new!'

Taken To The Cleaners

Two Malaysian Amats are walking along Boon Lay Road when they see a sign which reads: 'Suits $5.00 each, shirts $2.00 each, trousers $2.50 per pair'. Ali says to his pal, "Gerek, sial! We could buy a whole lot and when we get back to Johor, we could make a fortune. When we go into the shop, you diam-diam, okay? Just let me do all the talking 'cause if they hear our accent they might not serve us. I'll speak in my best Singapore accent." They go in and Ali orders 50 suits at 5.00 each, 100 shirts at 2.00 each and 50 pairs of trousers at 2.50 each. The owner of the shop says, "You're from Malaysia, aren't you?""Oh, ... yes," says a surprised Ali. "How come you know that?" The owner says, "This is a dry-cleaner"