Poem

This poem was nominated by UN as the best poem of 2008, Written by an African Kid.

When I born, I black
When I grow up, I black
When I go in sun, I black
When I scared, I black
When I sick, I black
And when I die, I still black.

And you white fellow
When u born, u pink
When u grow up, u white
When u go in sun, u red
When u cold, u blue
When u scared, u yellow
When u sick, u green
And when u die, u gray.

And you calling me coloured?!.

Post Office Job

Too good not to share.  Enjoy!

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.    The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"

He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."

"Have you ever served in the military?"

"Yes,"  he says, "I was in Iraq for two years."

The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment."

Then he asks,  "Are you disabled in any way?"

The guy says,  "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles."

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Okay. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00  am to 4:00 pm. You can start  tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at 10:00 am every day."

The guy is  puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm, why don't you want me here until 10:00 am?"

"This is a  government job," the interviewer says. "For the first two hours, we  just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls.  No point in you coming in for that."

Hot Sex Fairy

This is hilarious! Be sure to read the warning at the bottom. I didn't change a word! I'm not messing with the Sex Fairy!

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.


2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.


3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.


4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!


5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.


6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!


7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.


8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.


9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.


10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.


This message has been sent to you for good luck in sex. The original is in a room in the basement of the Dwight House Pub. It has been sent around the world nine times. Now sex has been sent to you. The "Hot Sex Fairy" will visit you within four days of receiving this message, provided you, in turn, send it on.

If you don't, then you will never receive good sex again for the rest of your life. You will eventually become celibate, and your genitals will rot and fall off. This is no joke! Send copies to people you think need sex (who doesn't?). Don't send money, as the fate of your genitals has no price.

Do not keep this message. This message must leave your e-mail in 96 hours. Please send ten copies and see what happens in four days.

Since the copy must tour the world, you must send it. This is true, even if you are not superstitious.

CREDIT CARD SCAM

Worth consideration......

WORTH THE READ New way of STEALING...ESPECIALLY LOOK AT SCENE THREE....Be sure to read Scene 3. Quite interesting. This is becoming more & more common. People sure stay busy. Trying to cheat us, don't they?

SCENE 1.

A friend went to the local gym and placed his belongings in the locker. After the workout and a shower, he came out, saw the locker open, and thought to himself, 'Funny, I thought I locked the locker...Hmm, 'He dressed and just flipped the wallet to make sure all was in order.Everything looked okay - all cards were in place...
A few weeks later his credit card bill came - a whooping bill of $14,000!He called the credit card company and started yelling at them, saying that he did not make the transactions.Customer care personnel verified that there was no mistake in the system and asked if his card had been stolen...'No,' he said, but then took out his wallet, pulled out the credit card, and yep - you guessed it - a switch had been made. An expired similar credit card from the same bank was in the wallet.The thief broke into his locker at the gym and switched cards.

Verdict:The credit card issuer said since he did not report the card missing earlier, he would have to pay the amount owed to them.How much did he have to pay for items he did not buy? $9,000! Why were there no calls made to verify the amount swiped? Small amounts rarely trigger a 'warning bell' with some credit card companies.It just so happens that all the small amounts added up to big one!


SCENE 2.

A man at a local restaurant paid for his meal with his credit card.The bill for the meal came, he signed it and the waitress folded the receipt and passed the credit card along.Usually, he would just take it and place it in his wallet or pocket. Funny enough, though, he actually took a look at the card and, lo and behold, it was the expired card of another person.He called the waitress and she looked perplexed.
She took it back, apologized, and hurried back to the counter under the watchful eye of the man.

All the waitress did while walking to the counter was wave the wrong expired card to the counter cashier, and the counter cashier immediately looked down and took out the real card. No exchange of words --- nothing! She took it and came back to the man with an apology.

Verdict: Make sure the credit cards in your wallet are yours.Check the name on the card every time you sign for something and/or the card is taken away for even a short period of time.Many people just take back the credit card without even looking at it, 'assuming' that it has to be theirs.

FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, DEVELOP THE HABIT OF CHECKING YOUR CREDIT CARD EACH TIME IT IS RETURNED TO YOU AFTER A TRANSACTION!


SCENE 3:

Yesterday I went into a pizza restaurant to pick up an order that I had called in.
I paid by using my Visa Check Card which, of course, is linked directly to my hecking Account.The young man behind the counter took my card, swiped it, then laid it on the counter as he waited for the approval, which is pretty standard procedure.While he waited, he picked up his cell phone and started dialing.

I noticed the phone because it is the same model I have, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary.Then I heard a click that sounded like my phone sounds when I take a picture.He then gave me back my card but kept the phone in his hand as if he was still pressing buttons.Meanwhile, I'm thinking: I wonder what he is taking a picture of, oblivious to what was really going on.It then dawned on me: the only thing there was my credit card, so now I'm paying close attention to what he is doing.He set his phone on the counter, leaving it open. About five seconds later, I heard the chime that tells you that the picture has been saved. Now I'm standing there struggling with the fact that this boy just took a picture of my credit card.Yes, he played it off well, because had we not had the same kind of phone, I probably would never have known what happened. Needless to say, I immediately cancelled that card as I was walking out of the pizza parlour.

All I am saying is, be aware of your surroundings at all times.Whenever you are using your credit card take caution and don't be careless.Notice who is standing near you and what they are doing when you use your card.Be aware of phones, because many have a camera phone these days..

FORWARD THIS TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN THINK OF. LET'S GET THE WORD OUT! JUST BE AWARE

Never let your card out of your sight..... check and check again!

Perlawanan Kelayakkan Piala Dunia 2014: Malaysia vs Singapore

alamak bro Oped dah sound ..kena sudah
-----------------------------------------

Dah jadi macam perang sabil kat stadium nasional bukit jalil ne. Tiket dah habis dijual semalam. sampai sekarang masih ada orang dok tunggu depan pagar nak beli tiket. mengamuk bila guard jual tiket dia beli semalam RM100. next time que la bro..beli awal2 jangan last minit. huhhuuu

Kat internet bersepah dengan orang nak jual tiket sampai ada nak jual RM300. mampuih.. satu lagi ada yang naik jual longgok RM60 satu sebanyak 27 keping... lagi parah





Apa2 pun Good luck Malaysia malam nee...dan kibarkan jalur gemilang semua biar singa menikusssss....

BLACK RICE (Pulut Hitam) - The New Cancer-Fighting Superfood.

BLACK RICE (Pulut Hitam)- The New CANCER-FIGHTING Superfood

This is not a hoax.......

I believe this is "Pulut Hitam" that is being referred to. How absolutely wonderful - that bowl of "Pulut Hitam" cooked with gula malacca (proper termfor 'gula malacca' is actually 'palm sugar' extracted from the coconut palm which is not only much more flavoursome than white cane sugar but a much healthier choice too (!) being far richer in minerals (potassium, magnesium and zinc) and B vitamins than white cane sugar and also much lower in glycemic index than cane sugar and honey!) and topped with coconut cream, is a local favourite dessert which is not only YUMMILY DELICIOUS BUT ACTUALLY GOOD FOR US!


BLACK RICE IS THE NEW CANCER-FIGHTING SUPERFOOD, CLAIM SCIENTISTS
Carried on Friday, 27-August-2010 by Daily Mail , UK
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1306356/Black-rice-new-cancer-fighting-superfood-claim-scientists.html

Black rice is low in sugar but packed with healthy fibre and plant compounds that combat heart disease and cancer, according to scientists

Black rice - revered in ancient China but overlooked in the West - could be the greatest 'superfoods', scientists revealed today. The cereal is low in sugar but packed with healthy fibre and plant compounds that combat heart disease and cancer, say experts. Scientists from Louisiana State University analysed samples of bran from black rice grown in the southern U.S. They found boosted levels of water-soluble anthocyanin antioxidants. Anthocyanins provide the dark colours of many fruits and vegetables, such as blueberries and red peppers. They are what makes black rice 'black'.

Research suggests that the dark plant antioxidants, which mop up harmful molecules, can help protect arteries and prevent the DNA damage that leads to cancer. Food scientist Dr Zhimin Xu said: 'Just a spoonful of black rice bran contains more health promoting anthocyanin antioxidants than are found in a spoonful of blueberries, but with less sugar, and more fibre and vitamin E antioxidants. 'If berries are used to boost health, why not black rice and black rice bran? Especially, black rice bran would be a unique and economical material to increase consumption of health-promoting antioxidants.'

Centuries ago black rice was known as 'Forbidden Rice' in ancient China because only nobles were allowed to eat it. Today black rice is mainly used in Asia for food decoration, noodles, sushi and desserts. But food manufacturers could potentially use black rice bran or bran extracts to make breakfast cereals, beverages, cakes, biscuits and other foods healthier, said Dr Xu. When rice is processed, millers remove the outer layers of the grains to produce brown rice or more refined white rice - the kind most widely consumed in the West. Brown rice is said to be more nutritious because it has higher levels of healthy vitamin E compounds and antioxidants. But according to Dr Xu's team, varieties of rice that are black or purple in colour are healthier still. They added that black rice could also be used to provide healthier, natural colourants. Studies linked some artificial colourants to cancer and behavioural problems in children. The scientists presented their findings today at the 240th National Meeting of the American Chemical Society in Boston .

Victoria Taylor, senior dietician at the British Heart Foundation, said: 'In reality, it's unlikely there's a single food out there that will have a great impact on lowering your risk of heart disease. Healthy eating is about a balanced diet overall. 'It's great if you can eat more of some groups of healthy foods, like having five portions of fruit and vegetable a day, but there is still no conclusive evidence that 'super foods' alone make a real difference to your heart health.'

Sabah Snake Grass

Sabah Snake Grass

Good News!!!
Recently, I met a man who had Lymphatic Cancer - Stage 4 with 123 lymph nodes affected. His cancer started in March 2008.

Affected parts: 1st: Right lung, 2nd: Left lung, 3rd: Groin, 4th: Eye and 5th Mouth.
After 9 chemo therapies he stopped the treatment on 10/11/2008 because 5 specialists said he can only survive for 3 months. Today, after more than 2 years, he has recovered and is still living. Thanks to the Sabah Snake Grass (Clinacanthus) which he planted outside his house.
He blended the leaves with green apple (minus skin and seeds) and drank them after breakfast everyday.

After 3 days, 6 tumours disappeared.

After 13 days, he went for a blood test.The oncologist said that he was 96% cured.

So far more than 200 people who had taken the herbs showed improvement.

Case 1) Man - age 54
Lung Cancer: 3rd stage.
Chemothrapy 6 times
Tumour before taking Sabah Snake Grass 29mm, 44mm, 76mm
Tumour two weeks after taking Sabah Snake Grass
reduced to 20mm, 27mm, 67mm respectively

Case 2) Woman
Uterus cancer – tumour size 6cm
Scheduled for surgery. After taking SSG, reduced to 3.5cm.
Doctor said no need to operate
Continue taking the SSG, the tumour disappeared.
Case 3) Man

Prostate Cancer

After taking SSG for 11 days, the tumour disappeared.


Case 4) Woman from KL

Breast and Lung Cancer

Both breasts removed - 4 stage. Very weak, cannot eat,

on drip and lying in hospital.

Family member poured SSG juice into her mouth through tube.

After a few days, could eat and was discharged.

28 days later was all tumours disappeared.


Case 5) Woman from Taiping
Breast Cancer
After taking SSG for 3 days, the wound dried up.

Case 6) Leukemia Patients
So far 4 cases have been cured after drinking SSG juice.
They also drank juice from 3 leaves of Guo Sai Por
(Ti Tham Tou) once per week.

Case 7) Dialysis Patients
After taking SSG for 10 days, stopped going for dialysis
treatment

Case 8) Patients with High Cholesterol, High Blood, High Uric Acid
and Diabetes
After taking SSG, the conditions improved.

The Plant








Number of leaves used for treatment for Cancer:
Stage 1 : 30 leaves everyday
Stage 2 : 50 leaves everyday
Stage 3 : 100 leaves everyday
Stage 4 : 150 – 200 leaves everyday
When the patients get better, reduce the number of leaves.

Direction for juicing SSG
a) Pour half cup of clean water in a blender
b) Add 1 or 2 ice cubes to prevent heating during blending
c) Add 1 quarter of lemon or half a lime juice (provide Vitamin C and prevent oxidization )
d) Wash the required fresh SSG leaves and put them into the blender
e) Peel a green apple and remove the core/seeds
f ) Cut the apple into 8 pieces
g) Put in the pieces of apple
h) Blend and drink immediately or within 5 minutes. (consume daily)
I ) If your body is "cooling" add a few slices of ginger or drink warming herbs

Food to avoid : Sugar and products made with sugar, honey, kembong fish, ray fish, 7 angled-fish, chicken meat, duck meat, yam, glutenous rice, margarine, durians, bird nest, ginseng and other rejuvenating herbs.

Besides SSG, papaya, apricot seeds, lemon grass and many types of fresh raw vegetable and fruit juices can also be used for treating cancer.

I believe all chronic diseases can be cured with the combination of detoxification, maintaing blood Ph 7.35-7.4, increasing body oxygen, eating natural nutrients and herbs, a healthy lifestyle and good eating habits. There are quite a number of patients with cancer and other chronic diseases recovering and got cured based on my coaching above and natural treatments.

MENTOS AND COCA-COLA

A little boy died in Brazil after eating MENTOS and drinking Coca-Cola / PEPSI together.. One year before the same accident happened with another boy in Brazil .. Please check the experiment that has been done by mixing Coca-Cola (or Coca-Cola Light) with MENTOS ..

So be careful with your self eating MENTOS (POLO's) and drinking COCA-COLA or PEPSI together.

CHECK THIS OUT...












PLZ PASS THIS INFORMATION TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE SPECIALLY TO THE CHILDREN, BECAUSE IN OUR COUNTRY MENTOS AND COCA-COLA BOTH ARE VERY POPULAR AMONGST THE CHILDREN.

What to do when you are trapped in a lift ???

What to do when you are trapped in a lift ???


We never know when and where accidents will happen to us OR people around us. Read on and hope this piece of information may help any of us when things do happen to yourself, our friends and our loved ones.
One day, while in a lift, it suddenly broke down and it was falling from level 13 at a fast speed. Fortunately, I remembered watching a TV program that taught you must quickly press all the buttons for all the levels.
Finally, the lift stopped at the 5th level.
When you are facing life and death situations, whatever decisions or actions you make decides your survival.
If you are caught in a lift breakdown, first thought in mind may be 'waiting to die'...
But after reading below, things will definitely be different the next time you are caught in a lift.
First - Quickly press all the different levels of buttons in the lift.
When the emergency electricity supply is being activated, it will stop the lift from falling further.
Second - Hold on tight to the handle (if there is any).. It is to support your position and prevent you from falling or getting hurt when you lost your balance.
Third - Lean your back and head against the wall forming a straight line.
Leaning against the wall is to use it as a support for your back/spine as protection.
Fourth - Bend your knees
Ligament is a flexible, connective tissue. Thus, the impact of fractured bones will be minimised during fall.
For everyone, kindly do share this piece of information with your near and dear ones !!

Drink Kopi-O KOSONG (Black Coffee No Sugar)

This is DRINK for thought !

Kopi-O KOSONG- good for you! Without milk or creamer and less/no sugar.
By Sylvia Booth Hubbard, Newsmax

For many years, coffee was considered a vice, linked with sleepless nights and cigarettes.

But scientists have discovered that coffee contains potent antioxidants that can fight numerous ailments, including heart disease and diabetes.According to the American Coffee Association, 54% of Americans drink coffee on a daily basis, and they drink, on average, over three cups each.


The diseases coffee can benefit include:

Dementia.
Drinking moderate amounts of coffee during middle age -classified as three to five cups daily - can decrease the risk of dementia by 65%, according to a 2009 study by Swedish and Finnish researchers.

Liver disease.

In those who drink too much alcohol, those who drank the most coffee - more than four cups every day - reduced their risk of developing alcoholic cirrhosis by 80%.

Heart disease.
Research associated with The Nurses' Health Study found that women who drank two to three cups of coffee daily had a 25% lower risk of dying from heart disease. Along the same line, a Spanish study found that men who drank more than five cups of coffee each day lowered their risk of dying from heart disease by 44%, and that women who drank four to five cups each day reduced their risk by 34%.


Prostate cancer.
A recent study from Harvard Medical School found that men who drank the most coffee slashed their risk of developing the fastest growing and most difficult to treat prostate cancers by more than half when compared to men who drank no coffee.

Gout.
Drinking four or more cups of coffee each day dramatically reduces the incidence of gout, say U.S. and Canadian researchers.
Men who drank four to five cups daily lowered their risk by 40 percent, and those who drank six or more cups daily reduced their risk of developing gout by 59% when compared to men who didn't drink coffee.


Breast cancer.
Coffee can either reduce the risk of developing breast cancer or delay its onset, according to Swedish studies. They found that coffee alters a woman's metabolism and produces a safer balance of estrogens. Women who drank two to three cups of coffee a day reduced their cancer risk by as much as two-thirds, depending on the specific type of breast cancer.


Diabetes.D
Enjoying six or more cups of coffee daily can cut chances of Type 2 diabetes by 54% in men and 30% in women over those who don't drink coffee.

Parkinson's disease.
Several studies show that drinking coffee lowers a man's risk of developing Parkinson's up to 80 percent - and the more the better.
Colon cancer, .,
.
A Japanese report found that women who drank three or more cups of coffee every day slashed their risk of developing colon cancer in half. What's responsible for coffee's healthy benefits? Most researchers believe it's the antioxidants (polyphenols or flavonoids) in coffee, but there are hundreds of compounds in coffee that may be partially responsible.


Kopi-O kosong ~ bottoms up !

Exam CHEATING

This is an awesome one.........................

ONE NIGHT 4 UNIVERSITY STUDENTS WERE BOOZING TILL LATE NIGHT AND DIDN'T STUDY FOR THE TEST WHICH WAS SCHEDULED FOR THE NEXT DAY.

IN THE MORNING THEY THOUGHT OF A PLAN. THEY MADE THEMSELVES LOOK AS DIRTY AND WEIRD AS THEY COULD WITH GREASE AND DIRT.

THEY THEN WENT UP TO THE DEAN AND SAID THAT THEY HAD GONE OUT TO A WEDDING LAST NIGHT AND ON THEIR RETURN THE TYRE OF THEIR CAR BURST AND THEY HAD TO PUSH THE CAR ALL THE WAY BACK AND THAT THEY WERE IN NO CONDITION TO APPEAR FOR THE TEST.

THE DEAN WAS A JUST PERSON SO HE SAID THAT YOU CAN HAVE THE RE-TEST AFTER 3 DAYS. THEY SAID THEY WILL BE READY BY THAT TIME. ON THE THIRD DAY THEY APPEARED BEFORE THE DEAN. THE DEAN SAID THAT THIS WAS A SPECIAL CONDITION THAT ALL FOUR WERE REQUIRED TO SIT IN SEPARATE CLASSROOMS FOR THE TEST.

THEY ALL AGREED AS THEY HAD PREPARED WELL IN THE LAST THREE DAYS. THE TEST CONSISTED OF 5 QUESTIONS WITH TOTAL OF 100 MARKS:


MID SEMESTER COURSEWORK EXAMINATION



INSTRUCTIONS:
All questions are compulsory.
Any inconsistencies on any of the questions among he four students will result in all the candidates getting a zero mark.

Q.1. Write down your name----- (2 MARKS)
Q.2. Write the name of the bride and bridegroom at the wedding you attended----- (30 Marks)
Q.3. What type of a car burst a tyre. ------ (20 Marks)
Q.4. Which tyre burst ------- (28 marks)
Q.5. Who was driving---------- (20 marks)

END OF PAPER

Home of a Mexican Drug Lord (after being raided)

photos of a Mexican Drug Lord's home after being raided ....

WOW, NO WONDER WE ARE LOSING THIS WAR...








The money and valuables found in this one house alone, would be enough to pay for health insurance for every man woman and child in the U.S.A. for 12 years! There are believed to be approximately 27 more of these houses in Mexico alone not to mention the ones in other countries who are enriching themselves in the drug trade. These people have so much money, they make the Arab oil shieks look like welfare recipients.
Their money can buy the best politicians, the best cops, the best judges, whatever they need they just throw down stacks of cash and it is theirs!

This is why the drug problem is so difficult to fight.

Bugatti 16C Galibier

Unveiling Bugatti 16C Galibier

According to the source of 4WheelsNews, who was present at the private unveiling of the new car, Bugatti Galibier (for those who don't know the manufacturer also used the name on the 1939 Bugatti Type 57C Galibier Saloon) is the name of the latest 4-door coupe from the Molsheim-based manufacturer. The Galibier, named after a mountain pass in the southern region of the French Dauphin Alps near Grenoble , is the vehicle teased by the manufacturer back in July, the one with the specacular8-pipe exhaust system.

Unlike the Veyron, the Galibier carries the W16 engine in the front, weighs around 1900 kg and is capable to achieve a top speed of around 350 km/h (still impressive we'd say) and will not need a second key like its 2-door brother in order to reach the incredible speed.

Regarding it's body, this is built using carbon fiber and has a total length of about 5.3 meters, with almost 80 inches longer than the Veyron. Regarding the debut of the car, this remains a mystery. We will not see it at the Frankfurt Motor Show because Bugatti will not be there.

What I Want in a Man

This should make you laugh...


What I want in a Man, Original List

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises


What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)

1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries


What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)

1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends


What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5.. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6.. Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends


What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)

1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend


What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)

1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet


KEEP READING, THERE'S MORE BELOW

After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said,
"Darling, 44 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched
a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old girl.

Now I have a $500,000 home, a $45,000 car, nice big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping
with a 65-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25-year-old gal,
and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving
a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.


Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-life crisis.

Send this to the women who will enjoy reading it, and to the men who can handle it!!!

Excellent article on cancer.

Excellent article on cancer. Pass it on.
AFTER YEARS OF TELLING PEOPLE CHEMOTHERAPY IS THE ONLY WAY TO TRY AND
ELIMINATE CANCER, JOHN HOPKINS IS FINALLY STARTING TO TELL YOU THERE
IS AN ALTERNATIVE WAY .

Cancer Update from John Hopkins:


1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few
billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are
unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size.

2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's lifetime.

3. When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumours.

4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies.. These could be due to genetic, environmental,
food and lifestyle factors.

5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, chan ging diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system.

6.. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow,
gastro-intestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.

7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.

8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size.. However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not
result in more tumor destruction.

9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence
the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.

10.. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer
cells to spread to other sites.

11. An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer cells by not feeding it with the foods it needs to multiply.


WHAT CANCER CELLS FEED ON:

a. Sugar is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Sugar substitutes like
NutraSweet, Equal,Spoonful, etc are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses
but only in very sma ll amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in colour. Better alternative is Bragg's aminos or sea salt.

b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastro-intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and
substituting with unsweetened soy milk, cancer cells are being starved.

c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than
beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.

d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline
environment. About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach
down to cellular levels within 15 minutes to nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells. To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try
and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at
temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C)..

e.. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine. Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer-fighting properties.
Water-best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.


12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines become putrified
and leads to more toxic buildup.

13. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of
cancer cells and allows the body's killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.

14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Flor-ssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the
body's own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the
body's normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells.

15. Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor. Anger,
unforgiveness and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit.. Learn to relax
and enjoy life.

16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular
level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.


(PLEASE FORWARD IT TO PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT)


This is an article that should be sent to anyone important in your life..

Perhatikan 25 petanda ini pada anda

Informasi ini berguna untuk panduan anda semua. Tanda-tanda sakit yang selalu kita rasakan berhubung kait dengan fungsi badan yang lain. Bacalah untuk menilai sejauh mana kesihatan diri anda :-

1. MATA (Bertindak balas dengan keadaan hati).

i) Mata menjadi merah : Hati mengandungi paras toksin yang tinggi.
Mata menjadi merah menandakan badan kita sedang dalam proses pembuangan toksin.
ii) Mata menjadi kabur : Sering berlaku pada waktu pagi. Menandakan proses penyeimbangan hati sedang berlaku.
iii) Keluar tahi mata : Fungsi hati lemah, pembuangan toksin sedang berlaku. Ini juga menunjukkan badan mengandungi asid berlebihan.
iv) Keluar air mata : Gangguan emosi yang bersangkut dengan hati atau bebanan kerja
v) Ketegangan mata dan kelopak : Tekanan perasaan kerana tidak puas hati atau bebanan yang berat.

2. HIDUNG

Hidung mempunyai hubungan rapat dengan paru-paru dan kerongkong.
i) Selesema : Proses pembuangan toksin di bahagian kerongkong. Badan mengandungi asid berlebihan (biasanya suhu badan meningkat).
ii) Hidung tersumbat : Paru-paru mengandungi toksin yang berlebihan.
iii) Bersin :
a. Proses membuang toksin di bahagian kerongkong.
b. Proses menyeimbangkan masalah alahan hidung.

3. BATUK
i). Batuk keluar kahak : Proses membuang toksin di bahagian kerongkong.
ii). Batuk tanpa kahak : Paru-paru mengandungi toksin yang berlebihan.
iii). Batuk dan berasa gatal di kerongkong : Proses membuang toksin di bahagian kerongkong dan paru-paru, biasanya berlaku pada orang yang banyak merokok atau terdedah kepada udara yang tercemar.

4. KERONGKONG
i) Kerongkong kering : Proses membuang toksin sedang berlaku di seluruh badan. Ini adalah tanda bahawa badan kita memerlukan banyak air untuk membuang toksin.
ii) Sakit kerongkong. Seperti di atas. Paras keracunan lebih serius.

5. BIBIR (Berkaitan dengan fungsi sistem penghadaman)

i) Bibir pucat
a. Sistem penghadaman yang lemah.
b. Perut mengandungi angin.
c. Kurang darah yang disebabkan oleh sistem penghadaman yang kurang sempurna dan mengakibatkan kekurangan zat besi.
ii) Bibir kering dan pecah. Perut mengandungi banyak bahan toksin.

6. MULUT DAN LIDAH : Berkaitan dengan fungsi jantung dan sistem pengedaran darah.

i) Lidah atau gusi bengkak, sakit : Menunjukkan jantung mempunyai masalah, seperti lemak yang berlebihan, injap menjadi lemah, saluran koronari tersumbat dan lain-lain lagi.
ii) Lidah, tisu mulut atau gusi menjadi pecah-pecah (ulser). Menandakan darah mengandungi asid berlebihan.
iii) Mulut berbau busuk . Proses penyeimbangan fungsi perut untuk pembuangan toksin.

7. TELINGA: Berkaitan dengan buah pinggang.

i) Telinga terasa tersumbat : Buah pinggang mengandungi toksin berlebihan.
ii) Telinga berdengung : Sedang merawat buah pinggang yang lemah.Biasanya tapak kaki terasa sakit ketika bangun pagi dan sakit itu hilang setelah berjalan-jalan.

8. KULIT Berpeluh :
i) Peluh masin : Badan mengandungi lebihan asid urik.
ii) Peluh berbau : Badan menyingkirkan toksin melalui perpeluhan.

9. RUAM DAN BISUL :

Badan menyingkirkan toksin yang berlemak dan toksin yang tidak larut dalam air.

10. KULIT GATAL DENGAN RUAM :

Proses menyingkirkan toksin melalui kulit akibat terlalu banyak memakan ubat yang mengandungi bahan kimia.

11. KULIT PECAH DAN BERAIR :

Proses pembuangan toksin yang larut dalam air. Sapukan serbuk Ganoderma pada kulit berkenaan.

12. RAMBUT GUGUR :

Menandakan fungsi buah pinggang yang lemah. Selepas proses gugur, rambut akan tumbuh semula dengan lebih sihat dan subur.


13. SENDI-SENDI, TANGAN DAN KAKI

a) Sakit sakit Sendi
i) Rasa panas. Menunjukkan terdapat luka di bahagian sendi berkenaan dan tanda- tanda penyakit pirai (gout).
ii) Tidak rasa panas .Tanda-tanda sakit lenguh (rheumatism) .
iii) Sakit di bahagian bahu. Menandakan saluran darah telah menjadi keras dan fungsi metabolisme tidak seimbang.

b) Kebas Tangan : Pengaliran darah di bahagian atas badan tidak lancar.
c) Kebas Tangan Kiri dan Lengan : Tanda-tanda lemah atau sakit jantung. Jika rasa kebas menjadi sakit di bahagian lengan dan kekal di sana, ini menandakan serangan sakit jantung mungkin berlaku.
d) Kebas Kaki : Pengaliran darah di bahagian bawah badan tidak lancar.
e) Sakit Tapak Kaki : Menandakan buah pinggang lemah. Biasanya disebabkan oleh kekurangan senaman dan duduk terlalu lama.
f) Sakit Tumit Kaki : Menunjukkan kelemahan fungsi alat kelamin.
g) Rasa Panas di Tapak Kaki : Penyeimbangan fungsi buah pinggang akibat lemah tenaga batin.
h) Gatal di Celah-celah Kaki : Menunjukkan tanda awal penyakit kaki busuk (Hong Kong Foot).

14. TANDA-TANDA DALAMAN

a) Kepala.
Secara amnya, segala tindak balas yang berlaku di bahagian kepala mempunyai kaitan dengan sistem pengaliran darah, jantung dan saraf otak.
b) Pening / Sakit di Bahagian Depan Kepala.
Menandakan sakit tekanan jiwa (neurosis) akibat bebanan mental dan banyak berfikir.
c) Pening / Sakit di Bahagian Belakang Kepala.
i) Bahagian atas . Menunjukkan penyakit tekanan darah tinggi.
ii) Bahagian bawah (tengkuk). Menunjukkan penyakit tekanan darah tinggi atau tekanan darah.
d) Sakit Kepala dan Rasa Gas Keluar dari Telinga : Menandakan penyakit migrain.
e) Bisul Terjadi di Kepala
Tanda pembuangan toksin sedang berlaku. Kadang-kadang dikaitkan dengan penyakit migrain.
f) Rasa Pening yang Memusing : Tanda kurang darah atau pengaliran darah tidak lancar.

15. MULUT/KERONGKONG/ LIDAH

a) Loya / Muntah . Tanda penyakit lelah. Pembuangan bahan toksik dari bahagian perut.
b) Muntah Darah
i) Darah merah : Pembuangan tisu yang sudah rosak di bahagian kerongkong dan
ii) Darah hitam: Pembuangan tisu yang sudah rosak di bahagian perut; misalnya penyakit ulser.

16. LIDAH RASA TEGANG DAN PENDEK : Tanda sakit jantung.

17. KELUAR AIR LIUR YANG PEKAT .

Proses pembuangan toksin dari kerongkong akibat jangkitan kuman

18. KENCING

a) Kerap Kencing : Menunjukkan buah pinggang mengandungi kotoran yang
b) Air Kencing yang Berkapur : Menunjukkan penyakit batu karang dalam buah pinggang.
c) Air Kencing yang Berminyak : Menunjukkan buah pinggang mengandungi kotoran berlemak.
d) Air Kencing Pekat yang Berwarna Coklat : Menandakan proses pembuangan toksin sedang berlaku.
e) Air Kencing Berdarah : Penyakit batu karang atau buah pinggang luka.

19. BUANG AIR BESAR

a) Cirit Birit / Kerap Buang Air Besar : Membersihkan kotoran/keracunan dari usus besar.
b) Sembelit : Membersihkan toksin dari usus kecil.
c) Najis Berdarah
i) Darah merah : Masalah penyakit buasir atau barah di bahagian usus.
ii) Darah hitam: Masalah penyakit ulser perut.
d) Najis Berwarna Hitam : Menunjukkan proses pembuangan toksin di bahagian usus sedang berlaku.

20. BADAN

a) Rasa Sakit : Secara amnya, segala kesakitan badan adalah disebabkan saluran darah.
i) Sakit menyucuk : Proses menyeimbangkan urat saraf.
ii) Sakit sengal: Menandakan luka di dalam badan.
iii) Sakit menyentap: Proses menyeimbangkan urat saraf yang berkaitan dengan organ-organ badan.
iv) Sakit menegang : Proses melancarkan pengaliran darah.
b) Badan Terasa Berat / Malas / Lenguh : Badan mengandungi asid yang berlebihan. Proses penyeimbangan sedang berlaku.
c) Badan Terasa Panas : Badan mengandungi asid yang berlebihan. Ini menandakan badan memerlukan banyak air untuk menjalankan proses pembuangan toksin.
d) Badan Terasa Ringan : Menandakan badan segar dan proses awet muda sedang berlaku.

21. RASA TAKUT MENGEJUT

Lemah fungsi buah pinggang. Tenaga batin lemah.

22. CEPAT NAIK DARAH/MARAH :

Fungsi hati lemah. Tekanan darah tinggi.

23. RASA BIMBANG DAN TAKUT :

Sistem paru-paru yang lemah.

24. RASA SERONOK ATAU BIMBANG TANPA SEBAB :

i) Sistem jantung yang lemah.
ii) Sistem saraf otak yang lemah.
iii) Masalah pengaliran darah.

25. SUKA BERFIKIR DAN BERKHAYAL :

Sistem penghadaman yang lemah

A GOOD LAUGH BEFORE A GOOD NIGHT SLEEP.

1. Wife & Husband
Wife : How have you managed to get home so early today?
Husband : My boss lost temper with me and shouted "Go to hell". So I came home.

2. Black guy & A White Girl
A black guy and a white girl met at a nightclub. She took him to her apartment and said: "tie me to the bed and do what black men do
best!" So he ran off with the TV and VCD player.

3. Wife & Husband
Wife: "I wish I were a newspaper, so you can hold me every morning!"
Husband: "I wish you're a newspaper TOO, my dear so I can have a NEW ONE every morning!"

4. Something wrong
A Chinese couple got married. When their baby was born, she had big blue eyes, curly blonde hair and brown skin. They named her ...
SAM TING LONG.

5. Wedding nights
Man to wife on wedding night, "Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with?' "Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the
others!"

6. Not at all
70 year old man asks his wife "do u feel sad when u see me running behind young girls?"
Wife replied "No not at all, even dogs chase cars but they can't drive it."

7. Don't disgrace your family
A young Chinese girl going on her first date. Her mother warned her…."first he kisses your cheek; then he'll kiss your breasts,
you'll enjoy; then he wants to go on top. You must not allow it so as not to disgrace our family name." Next day girl told Mom,
"Everything happened exactly as you predicted. I didn't allow him to go on top so I went on top and disgraced his family.”

8. Baby burnt
A white couple had a black baby…
The husband doesn't believe that it's his baby.
Husband: Why the baby black?
Wife: U hot, I hot, baby burnt..!

9. Expiry date
Wife: "Honey, what are you looking for?"
Husband: "Nothing."
Wife: "Nothing? You have been reading our marriage certificate for an hour?"
Husband:" I was looking for the expiry date!"

10. Why black?
Boy: Mom, why am I black and you are white?
Mom: Listen Son, considering all the crazy things I did years ago, you should be thankful that you are not barking.

TAXIS IN DUBAI

Your chance to enjoy the most expensive and luxurious cars in the world if you dont have the money to own one

Rolls-Royce Phantom, is said to be the exclusive Burj al-Arab hotel taxi

Maybach 57

Lamborghini ~ ~ This is too much ~ ~ ~ ~

Ferrari Enzo, the global limit? This is also used as a taxi?

HILARIOUS

DON'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY

Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?

Boy 2: Becos my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I'll turn into stone.

A part of me is getting hard already!

RESEARCH FINDING

Research shows men are fatter than women because every-night men get fresh milk & 2 big papayas while women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1 tea-spoon of starch!

ARAB MAN

An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.

'Your name pls'?

"Abdul Aziz "

"Sex? "

"Six times a week!! "

"No, no, I mean male or female! "

"Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel !"

SERVICE

Sex is like a restaurant.

Sometimes you get full satisfactory service and sometimes you have to be satisfied with self-service"

HAPPY MAN

What makes a happy man?

Daughter on the cover of cosmo.

Son on the cover of sports illustrated.

Mistress on the cover of playboy and...

Wife on the cover of "missing persons"

SWIMSUIT

Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?

To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.

GOOD AMBITION

Teacher: What do you want to become?

Little Johnny: Doctor !!

Teacher: Why?

Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.

DENTIST

Woman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful, I'll rather have a baby than have a tooth removed."

Dentist: "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly. "

VIRGIN

Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her tombstone to read :

BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.

The engraver shortened it to: " RETURNED UNOPENED "

OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL

75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.

On their first night both were crying - why???

Coz she didn't know anything and he had forgotten everything.

HaVe A NiCe DaY !

How the word Boob was invented.

Quite clever really never thought of it that way!

How the word Boob was invented.

Liu Bolin ~ The Invisible Man

This guy paints himself.

He uses no trick photography;

He just paints himself.

The last picture is amazing!

Here's a hint:

Look by the front tire.

The Most Expensive Dog

Meet the World's Most Expensive Dog

They say money can't buy love - but £1million will get you man's most expensive best friend.

A red Tibetan mastiff has become the priciest dog in the world after being sold for 10 million Chinese yuan, or £945,000 or US$1.5m.

Big Splash, or Hong Dong in Chinese, was bought by a coal baron from the north of China .

And it's lucky his new master is a multi-millionaire, because the hefty price tag doesn't factor in Big Splash's diet - enough chicken and beef to fill a growing 180lb dog, spiced up with Chinese delicacies such as sea cucumber and abalone.



Pricey pup: A Red Tibetan Mastiff called Big Splash has become the world's most expensive dog

His owner will need a big house too, as adult Tibetan Mastiffs have been known to weigh as much as 286lb, or more than 20 stone - the same as a sizeable rugby player. However the typical weight for a fully grown Tibetan Mastiff is around 13 stone.

But according to breeder Lu Liang, Big Splash is a 'perfect specimen' and the extravagant price for the 11-month-old is completely justified.

He said: 'We have spent a lot of money raising this dog, and we have the salaries of plenty of staff to pay' - adding that the new owner could charge almost £10,000 a time for Big Splash to breed with a female.
The high price paid for the dog is a sign that the red Tibetan mastiff has become a status symbol in China , replacing jewellery and cars as a way for the super-rich to show off their wealth.

Not only is red considered a lucky colour, but Tibetan mastiffs are thought to be holy animals, blessing their owners' health and security.

Tibetans believe the dogs have the souls of monks and nuns who were not good enough to be reincarnated as humans or into Shambhala, the heavenly realm.

Owners of the breed have included Queen Victoria, King George IV and Genghis Khan - who supposedly took 30,000 of the dogs with his ar my in his bid to conquer Western Europe .



Ancient breed: The dog is a descendant of animals kept by nomadic Chinese tribes

These days there are only around 300 Tibetan mastiffs in the UK , and puppies sell for a more reasonable £850 to £1,000.

James Pally, a Tibetan mastiff breeder from Pantymwyn near Mold in Flintshire, North Wales , said:
'They are very smart and they think for themselves and can sense danger very acutely.
'Tibetan mastiffs were originally used to guard the livestock and they are very good with other animals and they love children.

'I have six of them and if you don't give them enough attention they sit in front of the TV.'

The title of most expensive dog in the world was previously held by a Tibetan mastiff called Red Lion, who was valued at £915,000 last year

British Air Force

Look at this carefully...it is a brilliant example of British Humour!
The British government has scrapped the Harrier fleet and on their farewell formation flypast over the Houses of Parliament they gave the government a message.


Lean back a bit from your computer monitor and squint. Seriously...push your chair back a couple of feet..





My hat is off to the man that was leading this Squadron.