Friday, September 30, 2011

2001 vs 2011

Crime Call

Please share this with all your friends and family members......... :-)

Dear all

I cannot stop myself from sharing this with all of you.

Its all started when I received a call from someone claiming that he was from Maxis and he asked me to shutdown my phone for 2 hours for 3g update to take place. As I was rushing for a meeting, I did not question and shutdown my cell phone.

After 45 minutes I felt very suspicious since the caller did not even introduce his name. I quickly turned on my cell phone and I received several calls from my family members and the others were from the number that had called me earlier - 3954380.

I called my parents and I was shocked that they sounded very worried asking me whether I am safe. My parents told me that they had received a call from someone claiming that they had me with them and asking for money to let me free. The call was so real and my parents even heard 'my voice' crying out loud asking for help. My parent was at the bank waiting for next call to proceed for money transfer. I told my parents that I am safe and asked them to lodge a police report.

Right after that I received another call from the guy asking me to shutdown my cell phone for another 1 hour which I refused to do and hung up. They keep calling my cell phone until the battery had run down. I myself lodged a police report and I was informed by the officer that there were many such scams reported. MOST of the cases reported that the victim had already transferred the money! And it is impossible to get back the money.

Be careful as this kind of scam might happened to any of us!!! Those guys are so professional and very convincing during calls. If you are asked to shut down your cell phone for updates by the service provider, ASK AROUND! Your family or friends might receive the same call.


Dear family/friends,
A new scam going around. When I read the article on Maxis i didnt quite believe until I read the second article which was written by my friend’s nephew. I guess this is not a hoax so please be alert to such con calls. Please forward this.

I have personally encountered this – one morning at 9am, I was woke-up by the house phone. Nobody know the number except TM. Still in the sleeping mode, the moment I picked-up the phone, I heard Damian, my nephew’s crying voice begging me to help him. As I was about to question him, someone took over and demand that I pay-up the money that Damian owe them. I asked the caller if he got the right person; he said that he would send me part of his body as proof. He claimed that Damian owed him RM100K. It was then that I was really awake; I told myself impossible for a teenage of 17 years old (Form 5) owing that huge amount. I decided to play along and told the caller to give me time to raise the money. He agreed and said would call me back. I immediately called my mother who usually send the kids to school. I didn’t want to frighten her so I told her that I need her to accompany me to office. After picking her up, in the car I revealed everything and she said she witnessed Damian walking into the school compound. Upon reaching the school, we went straight to his classroom and he was there in the midst of his class. We had to interrupt the lesson and told the teacher of what we experienced. We then went to see his principal and proceed to lodge a police report. This is a must so that the police have the statistic in file. At the police station, we were told by the police that they have received several reports and are still investigating.

REMEMBER – Do not panic, keep calm and evaluate the situation.

Be Safe and Stay Alert!

Please pass around to your family and friends!

Ayam dan Lembu

Ayam : Manusia ni memang pentingkan diri sendiri!

Lembu : Kenapa kau kata macam tu?

Ayam : Tengoklah. Apa mereka buat kat aku!

Lembu : Hah! Buat apa pulak?

Ayam : Aku ni bertelur hari-hari. Aku cadang naklah dapat anak dua tiga ekor. Orang kata ada juga waris aku bila aku dah tak de nanti. Tapi manusia ni memang tak berhati perut. Hari-hari dia orang makan telor aku, macamana aku nak dapat anak!

Lembu : Alah! Kau punya masaalah kecil aja!

Ayam : ?? Maksud kau?

Lembu : Aku ni, kalau fikirkan nasib aku lagi malang . Rasa nak bunuh diri pun ada. Bayangkan, hari-hari manusia minum susu aku tapi sorang pun tak pernah panggil aku MAK!!

Ayam : Phuiii!!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

i BACK???

Hahahaa..takde Ipad? Iphone? Ipod? Sangkut Laptop pun boleh kat belakang…. sempoi giler mamat ni kan.. =))

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Cikgu Bodoh

C: Murid2, kamu nampak udara
M: Tak ...
C: Jadi, udara tu ada tak???
M: Takde ...
C: (tersengih melihat
'KEBODOHAN' murid dia)

Tiba2, sorang murid dia datang
ke depan. Nama dia Amin.
A: Kawan2, awak nampak otak
cikgu tak???
M: Tak !!!
A: Jadi, cikgu ada otak tak???
M: Takde ...
Cikgu tadika itu bengang, lalu
keluar dari tadika tersebut ...

Moral: Jangan sangka orang
BODOH kerana mungkin anda
akan diBODOHkan ...

I e-meow U, U e-meow me


I e-meow U, U e-meow me

Dear Ah Lian

Thanks you for your letters. Wrong time no see you. How anything? For me, I am quiet find.

You say in your letter your taukeh soh want you to chain your face look? Somemore you must wear high hill kick kok shoe, hope you can wok properly wit out felling over.

You know, Ah Kau Kia working start in a soft where company now. Last week, he take I, Muthu & few of his junk friend to May Nonut to eat barger. After that he take we all go to kalah ok.

Muthu sing and sing no stop until the sky bright. We so drown we no go toilet but pee pees on the floor.

Next week, my father mother going to sellerbread 20 years Annie wear sari. My father mother going to give a fist to all the kampong people. So you must come with your hole family. My brother eye deer also to in white the kampong head.

I only hope one day we no need write you and send litters to you and to me. Better I e-meow you, you e-meow me.

I will ketchup you soon. And when you got time, please few free call up to me. Good bye.....

Worm regret,
Ah Beng

Tuesday, September 27, 2011


Gaduh Suami Isteri

Sepasang suami isteri telah berselisih faham dan tidak
bertegur sapa. Pada suatu malam si suami telah menulis satu nota...


...dan meletakkan nota itu di sisi isterinya yang sedang
tidur. Keesokan harinya sisuami terjaga dari tidur dan mendapati jam
di dinding telah menunjukkan pukul 8.00 pagi. Didapati di sisinya
terdapat satu nota bertulis...


Monday, September 26, 2011

Hisap Rokok

Sepasang kekasih di kedai makan.

GF : u tau x rokok ni blh wat u cpt mati?

BF : mane ade. Jodoh ajal maut semua kat Tuhan yang tentukan...

GF : hmmmm...berapa banyak u habiskan duit untuk rokok?

BF : satu kotak Dunhill RM10. Perghh! Feeling......

GF : satu hari satu kotak. seminggu RM70. Sebulan RM2,100. Setahun RM25,200...ayg mule isap rokok bile???

BF : pandai math u ni...dri tingkatan 2. kenape?

GF : skrg ayg punye umo 24. 24-14=10.. and then RM25,200 darab dengan 10 dapat RM252,000! Banyakkan yang u dah bazirkan dlm tempoh 10 tahun.

BF : so? I ade mintak duit kat u ke nak beli rokok? Tak adakan?!

GF : memanglah takde tapi kalau u tak merokok and u simpan skrg u dah boleh beli Skyline ke... Evo ke... semua boleh!

BF : u isap rokok x yang?

GF : Tak yang...kenape tanye mcm 2?

BF : kalau u x isap rokok mcm i...mane Skyline u?

GF : !@#$%^&

The Chinese Way

An American, a Japanese and a Chinese went for a hike one day.
It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted. When they came upon a small lake, they took off all their clothes and jumped into the water, since it was fairly secluded. Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom."
As they were crossing an open area, suddenly a group of ladies from town appeared. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the American and the Japanese quickly used their hands to cover their privates. But the Chinese covered his face and the trio ran for cover.
After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the American and the Japanese asked the Chinese why he covered his face rather than his private part.
The Chinese replied, "I don't know about you....... but in my country, it's the face that people recognize."
PS.Now do you understand why people always say Chinese people want FACE?
Have a great day!!!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Down Payment

Mak Cik : "Anak makcik belajar tinggi kat oversea dulu. Makcik taknak letak harga. Tapi biarlah berpatutan. Selalunye yang belajar tinggi dalam lingkungan 20ribu. Tapi inilah satu-satunya anak perempuan makcik. Harap faham-fahamlah ye.. ".

Mat : "Saya paham maksud makcik. Tapi saya harap makcik pun pahamlah ye. Kalau terlampau tinggi, terpaksa ditangguhkan nanti. Biarlah dicepatkan, biar jauh dari maksiat "..
Mak Cik : "Kalau kamu tak mampu, anak makcik ni bukan tak laku. Ada berderet lagi yang tengah tunggu. Kalau harga rendah, nanti apa pulak orang cakap ".

Mat : "Kalau makcik nak jual anak makcik macam jual kereta, kita buat macam ni. Sekarang jugak saya bayar DOWNPAYMENT 2ribu. Saya bawak balik anak makcik, malam ni saya TEST DRIVE dulu semua.. Kalau barang dalam semua bagus, jangan cakap 10ribu.. 12ribu pun saya berani letak. tapi kalau dah LEMAU, ENJIN pon tak bagus.. TUihh!!.. Anak makcik sekali dengan deposit tu makcik boleh simpan!

Resepi Spaghetti Aglio Olio Cendawan

Diceduk dari FB.

Jom cuba resipi yang amat ringkas, mudah dan versatil ini.

Apa yang anda perlukan adalah:
200 gm spageti
6-8 ulas bawang putih - ketuk dan cincang
Beberapa keping cendawan kering - direndam hingga lembut
2 sudu besar minyak zaitun, sekiranya tiada boleh gantikan dengan minyak jagung
1 sudu kecil herba - parsli
1/2 sudu kecil lada hitam yang telah dikisar
2 biji cili kering - dibuang biji dan dipotong-potong (jika suka)
Garam secukup rasa
Untuk menyediakannya:
1. Didihkan air dan masukkan spageti. Apabila spageti masak (biasanya 8 hingga 10 minit, atau ikut spesifikasi di paket), tapis dan lalukan air ke atasnya agar spageti tidak terus memasak. Spageti seharus dimasak al dente kata orang Itali, maksudnya, tidak terlalu masak dan tidak pula mentah. Ketepikan.
2. Atas api sederhana, panaskan minyak zaitun dan tumis bawang putih hingga layu (jangan sampai garing). Masukkan cendawan (udang atau hirisan ayam), dan bahan-bahan lain. Kacau rata.
3. Akhir sekali, masukkan spageti dan gaul sebati.

Good argument

A Christian asked a Muslim:

Why do your females cover up their body & hair?

The Muslim smiled & took out 2 sweets,
He opened one & kept the other one wrapped.

He threw them both on the dusty floor & asked the Christian:

Now if I ask you to take one of these sweets,

Which will you choose?

The Christian replied: The covered one.

The Muslim said:

That's how we see & respect our women

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

People are so aliend in nature

God given all soul in this living earth to think and appreciate his creation. why on earth people want to change that???

Friday, September 16, 2011



Having lived a reasonably contented life, I was musing over what a person should strive for to achieve happiness. I drew up a list of a few essentials which I put forward for the readers' appraisal.

1. First and foremost is GOOD HEALTH.
If you do not enjoy good health you can never be happy. Any ailment, however trivial, will deduct from your happiness.

It need not run into crores but should be enough to provide for
creature comforts and something to spare for recreation, like
eating out, going to the pictures, traveling or going on holidays
on the hills or by the sea. Shortage of money can be only
demoralizing. Living on credit or borrowing is demeaning and
lowers one in one's own eyes.

Rented premises can never give you the snug feeling of a nest
which is yours for keeps that a home provides: if it has a garden
space, all the better. Plant your own trees and flowers, see them
grow and blossom, cultivate a sense of kinship with them.

be it your spouse or a friend. If there are too many
misunderstandings, they will rob you of your peace of mind. It is
better to be divorced than to bicker all the time.

5. Fifth, LACK OF ENVY towards those who have done better than
you in life; risen higher, made more money, or earned more fame.
Envy can be very corroding; avoid comparing yourself with others.

to descend on you for gup-shup. By the time you get rid of
them, you will feel exhausted and poisoned by their

which can bring you a sense of fulfillment, such as gardening,
reading, writing, painting, playing or listening to music. Going to
clubs or parties to get free drinks or to meet celebrities is
criminal waste of time.

INTROSPECTION. In the morning, 10 minutes should be spent on
stilling the mind and then five in listing things you have to do that
day. In the evening, five minutes to still the mind again, and ten
to go over what you had undertaken to do.

RICHNESS is not Earning More, Spending More Or Saving More, but ...

Arkansas town searching for toe-sucking assailant

Crazy world. I think he had loveless childhood. Someone need spanking.

LITTLE ROCK, Ark.(Reuters): There's nothing illegal about a foot fetish but police in Conway, Arkansas, are looking for a toe-sucking man they said has crossed the line into assault.

Police have received two complaints in the past week about a man who seems desperate to suck women's toes - whether they want him to or not.

"We want him off the streets," said Conway police spokeswoman LaTresha Woodruff.

Last Saturday, Ruth Harris, 83, told police she was sitting in a chair in front of her apartment when a man approached and said he liked her feet. According to a police report, the man took off one of her shoes and began sucking on her toe.

"The man then asked if he could kiss her and she had told him no and told him he was crazy," the report stated.

The man left quickly after people walked into the apartment complex's courtyard.

On Tuesday, police received another call from a woman who said that on Saturday she was shopping when she noticed a man staring at her.

The man then told the woman that he had a foot fetish and that "her toes are so long and succulent" and he wanted to suck them. When the woman's cell phone rang, the man retreated.

She told police the man had "messed up toes."

It is not the first time that Conway has dealt with this sort of complaint. In the 1990s, a man who was known as the "Toe Suck Fairy" kept Arkansans captivated with his foot fondling antics in Conway and Little Rock.

That assailant, Michael Robert Wyatt, pretended to be a podiatrist in order to fondle and suck a Conway woman's toes at a clothing store. He received probation, a fine and court-ordered therapy but his probation was revoked after he was arrested in another town on similar charges.

In 1991, he was convicted of making threats for telling a convenience store clerk that he wanted to cut off her feet and suck her toes while she bled to death.

Wyatt was sentenced to four years in state prison. He served just more than one year in prison, according to Conway police.

Some two decades later, police have not ruled out the possibility that the current toe-sucker could be the same man.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Robert Kuok Hock Nien's notes on the past sixty years

(On the occasion of Kuok Group’s 60th Anniversary 10 April 2009)

(1) My brothers and I owe our upbringing completely to Mother.
She was steeped in Ru-Jiao – the teachings of Confucius, Mencius,
Laozi and other Chinese sages. Ru-Jiao teaches the correct behaviour
for a human being on his life on earth. Mother gently, and sometimes
strongly, drummed into the minds of her three boys the values of
honesty, of never cheating, lying, stealing or envying other people
their material wealth or physical attributes..

(2) Father died on 25 December 1948 night without leaving a
will. Following the Japanese surrender, he had re-registered the firm
as a sole proprietorship. We went to court to get an appointment as
managers, permitting us to continue to manage Tong Seng & Co. The
judge said that, as there were two widows, the firm and the estate
should be wound up.

(3) We decide to establish Kuok Brothers Limited. In
mid-January 1949, five of us met at a small roundtable in our home in
Johore Bahru. Present were my MOTHER, cousin number five HOCK CHIN,
cousin number twelve HOCK SENG, my brother HOCK KHEE nicknamed Philip
(a.k.a. cousin number seventeen), and myself (a.k.a. cousin number
twenty). We sat down and Mother said, “Nien, would you like to start?”
I said, “Fine, yes I will start.” To cut the long story short, we got
started, and commenced business from a little shop house in Johore
Bharu on 1 April 1949.

(4) As a young man, I thought there was no substitute for hard
work and thinking up good, honest business plans and, without respite,
pushing them along. There will always be business on earth. Be humble;
be straight; don’t be crooked; don’t take advantage of people. To be a
successful businessman, I think you really need to brush all your
senses every morning, just as you brush your teeth. I coined the
phrase “honing your senses” in business: your vision, hearing, sense
of smell, touch and taste.
All these senses come in very useful.

(5) Mother was the captain of our ship. She saw and sensed
everything, but being a wise person she didn’t interfere. Yet she was
the background influence, the glue that bound the Group together. She
taught my cousins and my brothers and me never to be greedy, and that
in making money one could practise high morality. She stressed that
whenever the firm does
well it should make donations to the charities operating in our
societies. She always kept us focused on the big picture in business.
For example: avoid businesses that bring harm, destruction or grief to
people. This includes trades like gambling, drugs, arms sales,
loan-sharking and prostitution.

(6) We started as little fish swimming in a bathtub. From there
wewent to a lake and now we are in the open seas. Today our businesses
cover many industries and our operations are worldwide but this would
not have been possible without the vision of the founding members, the
dedicated contributions and loyalty of our colleagues and employees,
and very importantly the strong moral principles espoused by my

(7) When I hire staff I look for honest, hardworking,
intelligent people. When I look candidates in the eye, they must
appear very honest to me. I do not look for MBAs or exceptional
students. You may hire a brilliant man, summa cum laude, first-class
honours, but if his mind is not a fair one or if he has a warped
attitude in life, does brilliance really matter?

(8) Among the first employees were Lau Teo Chin (Ee Wor), Kwok
Chin Luang (Ee Luang), Othman Samad (Kadir) and an Indian accountant
called Joachim who was a devout Roman Catholic and who travelled in
every day from Singapore where he lived.

(9) I would like on this special occasion to pay tribute to
them and in particular to those who were with us in the early days;
many of whom are no longer here. I have already mentioned Lau Teo Chin
(Ee Wor) and Kwok Chin Luang (Ee Luang) and Othman Samad (Kadir),
there are others like Lean Chye Huat, who is not here today due to
failing eyesight, and Yusuf Sharifwho passed away in his home country
India about one and a half years ago and the late Lee Siew Wah, and
others who all gave solid and unstinting support and devotion to the
Company. It saddens me that in those early difficult years these
pioneers did not enjoy significant and substantial rewards but such is
the order of things and a most unfortunate aspect of capitalism.
However through our Group and employee Foundations, today we are able
to help their descendants whenever there is a need to..

(10) I have learnt that the success of a company must depend on
the unity of all its employees. We are all in the same boat rowing
against the current and tide and every able person must pull the oars
to move the boat forward. Also, we must relentlessly endeavour to
maintain and practise the values of integrity and honesty, and eschew
and reject greed and arrogance.

(11) A few words of caution to all businessmen and women. I
recall the Chinese saying: shibai nai chenggong zhi mu (failure is the
mother of success). But in the last thirty years of my business life,
I have come to the conclusion that the reverse phrase is even truer of
today’s world: chenggong nai shibai zhi mu. Success often breeds
failure, because it makes you arrogant, complacent and, therefore,
lower your guard.

(12) The way forward for this world is through capitalism. Even
China has come to realise it. But it’s equally true that capitalism,
if allowed to snowball along unchecked, can in many ways become
destructive. Capitalism needs to be inspected under a magnifying glass
once a day, a super-magnifying glass once a week, and put through the
cleaning machine once a month.

In capitalism, man needs elements of ambition and greed to
drive him. But where does ambition end and greed take over? That’s why
I say that capitalism, if left to its own devices, will snowball
along, roll down the hill and cause a lot of damage. So a sound
capitalist system requires very strongly led, enlightened, wise
governments. That means politician-statesme n willing to sacrifice
their lives for the sake of their people. I don’t mean politicians who
are there for fame, glory and to line their pockets.

(13) To my mind the two great challenges facing China are the
restoration of education in morals and the establishment of a rule of
law. You must begin from the root up, imbuing and infusing moral
lessons and morality into youth, both at home and from kindergarten
and primary school upward through university. Every Chinese needs to
accept the principle of rule of law; then you have to train upright
judges and lawyers to uphold the legal system.

(14) Wealth should be used for two main purposes. One: for the
generation of greater wealth; in other words, you continue to invest,
creating prosperity and jobs in the country. Two: part of your wealth
should be applied to the betterment of mankind, either by acts of pure
philanthropy or by investment in research and development along the
frontiers of science, space, health care and so forth.

Tan Sri Robert Kuok Hock Nien (born 6 October 1923, in Johor Bahru,
Johor), is an influential Malaysian Chinese businessman. According to
Forbes his net worth is estimated to be around $10 billion on May
2008, making him the richest person in Southeast Asia. He is media shy
and discreet; most of his businesses are privately held by him or his
family. Apart from a multitude of enterprises in Malaysia, his
companies have investments in many countries throughout Asia. His
business interests range from sugarcane plantations (Perlis
Plantations Bhd), sugar refinery, flour milling, animal feed, oil and
mining to finance, hotels, properties, trading and freight and

Wednesday, September 14, 2011


One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered. I then said,
'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started...

I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, how about your wife?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started.....

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she
kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a
nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after we
split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that
And then the fight started...

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that
I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take
care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more
important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily
snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for
a short time and then went into the house.. I was gone only a minute,
and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you
finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
And then the fight started...

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."
And then the fight started...

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and
slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and
proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour The wind was blowing 50
mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered
that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly
undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now
with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband
is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started......

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and
come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she
processed my Social Security application..
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office...
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too.'
And then the fight started...

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And then the fight started........

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Mosquito Trap - A Cheap Way

This information may cause massive loss of jobs in insecticides companies, but it could save thousands of innocent lives from the cruel fate of dengue.

My apologies to all branded insecticides in the marketplace.

DIY is so easy and its costs are unbelievably negligible.
Eradicate Aedes and dengue.

Mosquito trap (Dengue prevention)

It’s just a mix of water, brown sugar and yeast.

1. Cut a plastic bottle in half, keep both parts. Can be soft drink bottle.
2. Take the lower portion of the bottle. Dissolve the brown sugar in hot water.
Let it cool down to ~70 deg F (room temperature).
3. Add the yeast. Carbon dioxide will form. (This will attract the mosquitoes.)
4. Cover the bottle with a dark wrap and insert in the top portion upside down like a funnel. Place it in a corner in your house.
5. In 2 weeks you will be surprised by the number of mosquitoes killed.

Learn From The Indian brain

Have a good laugh!

Mathematician: How do you write 4 in between 5?
Chinese : Is this a joke?
Japanese : Impossible!
American : The question 's all wrong!
British : It's not found on the Internet

And the Indian answer:-

Indian: F(IV)E

This is the reason why Indians are everywhere in the world: in finance, business, medicine, engineering....anything to do with using both sides of the brain.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Beware of Newly Installed Speed Trap Cameras !!

aiya, my fren just send to me today.... is tooooo late, i guess i hv a few beautiful pics taken yesterday while on my way home......
hope is not too late for u n it is be careful the next time u travel.

Travellers beware....I know many of you will be travelling back to hometown or go for holidays somewhere around Malaysia. Therefore there will be times when you are on the highway. This coming Raya, please be on the alert for the men in blue, who are also trying to make more Duit Raya for their department. The following list highlights the usual suspect locations that have been determined to be Speed Trap Zones. So, instead of giving away Duit Raya to the men in blue....might as well spend on ourself or treat our family or even ourself rather than let the forces take our money since our government already took so many of them! PLUS North Bound (ke Utara)
*Under a bridge at about 456km, Sg Buloh junction.
*Under a bridge at about 459km, Bukit Lanjan interchange.
*Under the overhead restaurant at Sg Buloh.
*Under the last bridge before Sg Besi toll at 309.2km.
*Under the bridge at 296.5km, Bangi junction.
*Under the newly constructed bridge at 289.0km, after Nilai North junction.
*Under the bridge at 286.5km, Nilai North junction.

PLUS South Bound (ke Selatan)
*Below signboard at about 454.6km and 455.2km, Sg Buloh layby.
*Under the bridge after Subang junction at 11.3km.
*Under the bridge at 22km, Bukit Lanjan junction.
*Under the bridge before Mint hotel, Sg Besi Toll. 80km/h only!
*Under the bridge at 302.8km, Kajang junction.
*About 1km south of Bangi junction, both south and north bound outer lanes
*At 296.5km and 297km, Bangi junction.
*Under the newly constructed bridge at 289.0km, before Nilai North junction.
*At 285.5km and 285.8km, Nilai North junction.
*On center divider at 251.8km and 253km after Senawang junction.
*After Alor Gajah junction at 213.9km, next to water theme park.
*Behind the right hand crash barrier at 198.4km.

Elite Central Link East/North Bound
*On left hand side at 4.8km after Batu Tiga/Shah Alam exit
*Under the overhead restaurant at USJ/Hicom junction about 8.5km. 90km/h zone!
*Below the bridge before USJ/Hicom junction at 10.5km.

Elite Central Link West/South Bound
*Under the overhead restaurant at USJ/Hicom junction about 8.5km. 90km/h zone!
*Below the bridge before USJ/Hicom junction at 10.5km.
*After exit from KLIA toll to the airport, below Jalan Pekeliling flyover.90km/h

NKVE East/North Bound
*300m before Jalan Duta toll, 60km/h!
*Behind crash barrier on the left when going towards Jalan Duta toll, at 24.9km, 80km/h!
*Below bridge at Damansara Junction, 17.5km

NKVE West/South Bound
*Behind crash barrier on the left when leaving Jalan Duta toll from KL, at 25.3km and 25.7km, 80km/h!
*From Jln Duta, below the bridge, 23km, 80km/h zone!
*From Jln Duta, at the underpass at Sg Buloh Y-junction, 22km.
*Behind crash barrier at Damansara Junction, 17.7km and 16.8km
*Below railway bridge at 11.2km
*Under the bridge at Shah Alam junction.

Kesas East Bound
*Under the bridge at 44.8km, downhill run after Puchong junction.

Kesas West Bound
*At Sg Besi side of East Bound Toll. Kuala LumpurCity
*Jalan Duta; below the flyover at the Damansara junction, 70km/h zone.

*Dual carriageway between Klang and Port Klang. Towards Klang direction, at about 13km mile stone. 70km/h only!

East Coast
*Road sign at Karak highway is inadequate especially at Y junction; if you are unfamilar, go slow.
*East bound, downhill run after Raub junction.
*Maran, 60km/h zone.
*Paya Bungor, 70km/h zone.

*Tangkak junction.
*Under the bridge after Yong Peng

North junction
*at 97.3km.
*Ayer Hitam junction.
*Sedenak junction.

North Bound
*Around Ayer Hitam in 60km/h zone.
*Before Perwaja Steel.
*Sg Petani junction.
*Between Seberang Jaya junction and Sg Dua Toll.
*PenangBridge at island end.Speed limit 80km/h.

South Bound
*PenangBridgeisland end. Speed limit 80km/h.
*About 2km before Juru Toll Speed limit 90km/h.

North Bound
*Under the bridge at 197.1km and 198.8km, afterKamunting Junction.
*Under the bridge at 204.3km, after KamuntingJunction.
*Under the bridge at 208km, before Kamunting Junction.
*Under the bridge at 214.8km, before Kamuntingjunction.
*Ipoh Vista Point at about 263km. Speed limit 80km/h.
*Under the bridge at 271km, Ipoh North Junction.
*Under the bridge at 274.4km, Ipoh South Junction.
*Under the bridge at 286.9km, Simpang Pulai Junction.
*Under the bridge at 296km, Gopeng Junction.
*Under the bridge at 352.6km, after Sungkai Junction.
*Under the bridge at 353km, Sungkai Junction.
*Under the bridge at 373km, Slim River Junction.

South Bound
*Under the bridge at 199km, before Kamunting junction.
*Under the bridge at 241.9km, at Kalau Kangsarjunction.
*Under the sign post at 296.1km, before GopengJunction.
*Under the bridge at 297km, at Gopeng Junction.
*Under the bridge at 300km, after Gopeng junction.
*Under the bridge at 308.6km, after Gopeng junction.
*Under the bridge at 372.6km, at SlimRiverjunction.

Sunday, September 11, 2011


Gud motivation for today!
Bacalah hingga ayat yg terakhir…semoga minda kita terbuka …


Jika kita memberi kebaikan kepada seseorang, kebaikan itu akan dibalas walaupun yang membalasnya bukan orang yang kita berikan kebaikan itu. Hakikat ini mengingatkan saya kepada satu perbualan yang berlaku sewaktu saya mengendalikan program latihan beberapa tahun lalu di sebuah organisasi.
“Saya tidak mempunyai apa-apa harapan lagi pada organisasi ini,” kata seorang kakak berterus-terang.
“Mengapa?” balas saya.
“Organisasi ini dipenuhi oleh kaki bodek dan kaki ampu. Saya terseksa bekerja secara ikhlas di sini. Tidak pernah dihargai, tidak ada ganjaran yang wajar. Saya bukannya orang yang bermuka-muka. Tak pandai saya nak ampu-ampu orang atas, Fokus saya kepada kerja sahaja.”
Kakak itu sebenarnya adalah peserta program yang paling senior. Telah berpuluh tahun bekerja dalam organisasi tersebut. Itu adalah kali terakhir dia mengikuti program latihan. Enam bulan lagi dia akan bersara. Kesempatan yang diberikan kepadanya dalam sesi memperkenalkan diri itu telah digunakannya sepenuhnya untuk meluahkan rasa kecewa dan marahnya sepanjang berkhidmat di situ. Sungguh, dia kecewa sekali. Siapa tidak marah, jika bekerja secara ikhlas dan gigih tetapi tidak pernah dinaikkan pangkat atau mendapat kenaikan gaji?
Sewaktu rehat, sambil minum-minum dan berbual santai saya bertanya kepadanya, “kakak punya berapa orang anak?”
Sengaja saya bertanya soal-soal “di luar kotak” agar ketegangan dalam sesi sebelumnya dapat diredakan.
“Oh ramai encik…”
“Bagaimana dengan anak-anak kakak?”
Wah, saya lihat dia begitu ceria apabila mula menceritakan tentang anak-anaknya. Boleh dikatakan semua anak-anaknya berjaya dalam profesion masing-masing. Ada yang menjadi doktor, ju rutera, pensyarah dan sebagainya. Malah seorang anaknya telah menjadi hafiz.
“Kakak, boleh saya bertanya?”
“Tanyalah encik…” ujar kakak itu sambil tersenyum. Mendung di wajahnya sudah berlalu. Dia begitu teruja bila bercerita tentang anak-anaknya. Memang, semua anak-anaknya menjadi.
“Jika kakak diberi pilihan, antara anak-anak yang “menjadi” dengan naik gaji, mana yang kakak pilih?”
Belum sempat dia menjawab, saya bertanya lagi, “antara kakak naik pangkat dengan anak-anak berjaya dalam karier mereka, mana yang kakak pilih?”
Dengan cepat kakak itu menjawab, “hati ibu encik… tentulah saya pilih anak-anak saya menjadi walaupun tidak naik gaji atau dapat pangkat. Anak-anak adalah harta kita yang paling berharga!”
Saya tersenyum. Hati ibu, begitulah semestinya.
“Kakak, sebenarnya keikhlasan dan kegigihan kakak bekerja dalam organisasi ini telah mendapat ganjaran…” kata saya perlahan. Hampir berbisik.
“Maksud encik?”
“Allah telah membalas dengan ganjaran yang lebih baik dan lebih kakak lebih sukai. Bila kakak ikhlas bekerja dalam organisasi ini, Allah berikan kepada kakak anak-anak yang menjadi.”
“Tidak pernah saya terfikir begitu encik…”
“Allah Maha Berkuasa. Ada kalanya takdir dan perbuatan-Nya terlalu misteri dan rahsia untuk dijangkau oleh pemikiran kita. Tetapi yakinlah what you give, you get back. Itu hukum sunatullah dalam hubungan sesama manusia. Kebaikan yang kita buat akan kembali kepada kita. Yakinlah.”
“Walaupun bukan daripada seseorang atau sesuatu pihak yang kita berikan kebaikan itu?”
“Maksud kakak?”
“Macam ni, saya buat kebaikan kepada organisasi tempat saya bekerja, tapi Allah berikan kebaikan kepada keluarga. Pembalasan Allah bukan di tempat saya bekerja, sebaliknya diberikan dalam keluarga saya. Begitukah encik?”
“Itulah yang saya katakan tadi, takdir Allah kekadang terlalu misteri. Tetapi ketetapannya mutlak dan muktamad, siapa yang memberi kebaikan akan dibalas dengan kebaikan. Dalam istilah biasa itu dipanggil golden rule!”
Kakak itu termenung. Mungkin memikirkan pertalian dan kaitan antara apa yang berlaku dalam organisasi dengan familinya.
“Metafora atau analoginya begini. Katalah kita sedang memandu di satu jalan yang mempunyai dua atau tiga lorong. Penuh sesak. Tiba-tiba sebuah kereta yang tersalah lorong di sebelah memberi isyarat untuk masuk ke lorong kita. Kerana simpati melihat dia terkial-kial memberi isyarat, kita pun beralah, lalu memberi laluan untuk kereta itu masuk di hadapan kita…”
Saya berhenti seketika mengambil nafas sambil mencari reaksi. Saya lihat kakak itu mendengar penuh minat. Dia meneliti metafora yang saya sampaikan dengan begitu teliti.
“Kemudian kita terus memandu ke hadapan. Mungkin sejam kemudian atau setelah berpuluh-puluh kilometer, tiba-tiba kita pula yang tersalah lorong. Kita pula yang memberi lampu isyarat untuk masuk ke lorong sebelah. Soalnya logikkah kalau kita mengharapkan kereta yang kita bantu sebelumnya memberi laluan untuk kita?”
Kakak itu tersenyum dan berkata, “tak logik encik. Kereta yang kita bantu tadi entah ke mana perginya.”
“Tapi ada tak kereta lain yang simpati dan memberi laluan untuk kita?’
“Pasti ada! Insya-Allah.”
“Ya, begitulah. Padahal kereta itu tidak pernah sekali pun kita tolong. Tetapi Allahlah yang menggerakkan hati pemandunya untuk memberi laluan kepada kita. Orang yang kita beri kebaikan, tidak ada di situ untuk membalas kebaikan kita… Tetapi Allah menggerakkan hati orang lain, yang tidak pernah merasa kebaikan kita untuk membalas kebaikan kita tadi.”
“Begitu dalam litar di jalan raya dan begitu ju alah litar dalam kehidupan manusia. Kita buat baik kepada A, tetapi kerap kali bukan A yang membalas kebaikan kita tetapi B atau C atau D atau lain-lainnya yang membalasnya. Inilah hakikat yang berlaku dalam kehidupan ini.”
“Kita tidak boleh kecewa bila keikhlasan kita dipersiakan?” tanya kakak itu lagi. Lebih kepada satu respons minta diiyakan.
“Kakak, ikhlas sebenar tidak pinta dibalas. Tetapi Allah Maha Kaya dan Maha Pengasih, siapa yang ikhlas akan diberi ganjaran walaupun mereka tidak memintanya kerana setiap kebaikan itu akan dikembalikan kepada orang yang melakukannya. Ia umpama bola yang dibaling ke dinding, akan melantun semula kepada pembalingnya!”
“Selalunya saya dengar, orang ikhlas akan dibalas di akhirat.”
“Itulah balasan yang lebih baik dan kekal. Tetapi saya katakan tadi, Allah Maha kaya, Allah mahu dan mampu membalas keikhlasan hamba-Nya di dunia lagi.”
“Maksud encik?”
“Orang yang ikhlas akan diberi ketenangan dan kebahagiaan dalam hidup. Anak-anak yang soleh dan solehah. Isteri yang taat atau suami yang setia. Dan paling penting… hati yang sejahtera. Inilah kekayaan dan kelebihan yang lebih utama daripada pangkat, gaji dan jawatan.”
“Jadi orang ikhlas akan terus ditindas, tidak dapat kenaikan pangkat atau gaji? Bukan apa, saya terfikir kenapa nasib kaki ampu dan kaki bodek lebih baik dalam organisasi. Mereka dapat naik pangkat!”
Giliran saya pula tersenyum.
“Tidak ada kebaikan yang akan kita dapat melalui jalan yang salah. Percayalah, kalau benar mereka kaki ampu dan bodek sahaja… pangkat yang mereka dapat akan menyebabkan mereka melarat. Gaji naik, tetapi ketenangan hati menurun. Ingat apa yang saya kata tadi, what you give you get back… Golden rule itu bukan untuk kebaikan sahaja, tetapi untuk kejahatan ju ga. Kalau kita berikan kejahatan, kejahatan itu akan kembali semula kepada kita. Kaki ampu, mungkin akan dapat anak yang pandai bermuka-muka. Kaki bodek mungkin dibalas dengan isteri yang berpura-pura!” terang saya panjang lebar.
“Jadi apa yang harus saya lakukan dengan baki masa perkhidmatan yang tinggal tidak beberapa bulan lagi ni?”
“Bekerjalah dengan gigih. Walaupun mungkin bos tidak melihatnya, tetapi Allah Maha Melihat. Bekerja itu satu ibadah. God is our “ceo”, kata orang sekarang. Insya-Allah, satu hari nanti manusia ju ga akan diperlihatkan oleh Allah tentang keikhlasan manusia yang lain. Jangan berhenti memberi kebaikan hanya kerana tidak dapat penghargaan…”
“Maksud encik?”
“Jangan mengharap terima kasih daripada manusia atas kebaikan yang kita buat kepadanya.”
“Kita akan sakit jiwa!”
“Kerana umumnya manusia tidak pandai berterima kasih. Lihatlah, kalau kepada Allah yang Maha Memberi pun manusia tidak pandai bersyukur dan berterima kasih, apalagi kepada manusia yang pemberiannya terbatas dan berkala. Sedikit sekali daripada manusia yang bersyukur,” balas saya mengulangi apa yang maktub dalam Al Quran.
“Tetapi Allah tidak berhenti memberi… “ kata kakak itu perlahan.
“Walaupun manusia tidak berterima kasih kepada-Nya. Sekalipun kepada yang derhaka dan kafir, tetapi Allah terus memberi… Justeru siapa kita yang tergamak berhenti memberi hanya kerana tidak mendapat penghargaan dan ucapan terima kasih?”
“Ah, kita terlalu ego…”
Dan itulah kesimpulan perbualan yang saya kira sangat bermakna dan besar impaknya dalam hidup saya. Saya terasa “diperingatkan” semasa memberi peringatan kerana pada hakikatnya saya ju ga tidak terlepas daripada lintasan hati oleh satu pertanyaan… orang ikhlas tertindas?

Friday, September 9, 2011

Watch out whenever u check in hotel !

Sometimes, in smaller Chinese-owned budget hostels, they always place an altar, with ancestor's tablet, near the front lobby.
There will be certain room(s) which will be ' occupied ' by them.

Here are some beliefs of the hoteliers:

"For single hotels, there is at least one permanent room which should be left vacant at all times.

No matter how full the hotel is, they are not to sell that room to any guest.
It is said that the special room is 'reserved' for those 'special visitors'.

"So, if you plan to stay in some hotel, always book in advance. Try to avoid walk-ins.

If the receptionist tells you there's no more room available, do not insist to get one anymore or try to bribe them to give you a room.

If you do that, most of the time the room you have will be that 'special room'.
Here are some tips on how to protect yourself.

"Before entering your room, always knock on the door first, even if you know the room is vacant."

After you enter the room, if you feel very cold suddenly and have 'chicken spore',

leave the room quietly immediately.
See the reception to change room.

The receptionist understands what's happening.

"After you enter the room,

immediately switch on all of the lights,

and open the curtain to let the sunlight in.

"Before you go to bed,

arrange your shoes so that one of them is upside down.

This represents yin and yang to protect you while you're asleep.

"Always leave at least a lamp on while you're sleeping, preferably the toilet lamp..

"If you' re staying alone on a twin bed, do not sleep with the other bed vacant.

Put your things, like luggage, on the other bed before you sleep.

"Here's another tip.

When you enter your hotel room, look for the Bible. Most hotels place the Bible inside a drawer.

If upon entering, you see the Bible on the table, DON'T STAY IN THAT ROOM.

It means 'special visitors' are there.

"If you see the Bible opened up on the table, LEAVE THAT ROOM IMMEDIATELY and request for a change of room!

It means the 'special visitor' is really creating trouble in that room!

Tips on protecting yourself in the cineplex

Do not attend the first screening of any movies in the cinema.

By the first screening, it means the first time the movie is shown in that particular cinema.

The first screening is meant for the 'special visitors'. However, if you insist on going, then sit somewhere in the middle.

The first and last rows are reserved for 'them'.

"Ever notice the last row in your local Cineplex is always vacant?

Now you know 'who' reserves the seats."

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Nilai Hantaran Kahwin

Nilai Hantaran Kahwin Mengikut Harga Purata Terkini dan Status Pelajaran di Seluruh Semenanjung :-

UPSR : PMR/SRP : RM1,000-RM3,000
SPM : RM3,000-RM8,000
STPM/DIPLOMA : RM8,000-RM12,000
DEGREE : RM12,000-RM15,000
DEGREE/MASTER : RM15,000-RM20,000
PHD : RM20,000-RM30,000

Sapa-sapa yang belum khawin boleh rujuk kepada data di atas. Hahahaha

Football jokes

Husband: I want to have sex with you 8 times in 90 mins!
Wife: Who do you think am I ? Arsenal?

Uncle: I want to have drink beer 1989!
Auntie: Who do you think am I? Liverpool? Hrmmmmm

A Manchester United fan, a arsenal and a Liverpool fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves their team the most. The Manchester fan insists that he is the most loyal and he yells, "this is for Machester!" and jumps off the mountain.
Not to be out done, the Arsenal fan next professes his love for his team. He screams, "this is for the Arsenal" and pushes the Liverpool fan off the mountain.

Kalau & jika suami...(ulangan)


Kalau suami mula berahsia..
Itu tandanya dia tak setia

Kalau suami meninggi suara
Itu tandanya kalau tak sakit gigi dia dah ada mak we

Kalau suami mengaku bujang tua
Itu tandanya dia nak ngurat anak dara

Kalau suami selera tak ada
Itu tandanya kalau tak demam dia nak pasang dua

Kalau suami lambat balik aje
Itu tandanya kalau tak jammed dia dah syok kat deparment dia

Kalau suami tidur di ruang tamu
Itu tandanya kalau bilik tak berbau dia dah jemu

Kalau suami malam jumaat buat tak tahu
Itu tandanya tak lama lagi hidupmu bermadu

Kalau suami garang macam singa
Itu tandanya hati dia dah tak cinta

Kalau suami asyik komplen aje
Itu tandanya kalau anda tak malas dia dah tak suka

Kalau suami mula sepak terajang ke muka
Itu tandanya dia nak memberimu title JANDA..


Jika suami sayangkan isteri
Dapat gaji semua diberi

Jika suami sayangkan isteri
Kerja rumah rela dikongsi

Jika suami sayangkan isteri
Kereta diberi suami naik LRT

Jika suami sayangkan isteri
Duit poket diberi setiap hari

Jika suami sayangkan isteri
SMS dikirim tanda rindu dihati

Jika suami sayangkan isteri
Kongsi masalah nasihat dikasi

Jika suami sayangkan isteri
Diberi ciuman setiap pagi

Jika suami sayangkan isteri
I love U, I miss U katanya setiap hari

Jika suami sayangkan isteri
Isteri gemuk, dikatakan seksi

Jika suami sayangkan isteri
Sakit sikit selongkar laci ubat dicari

Jika suami sayangkan isteri
Kemana sahaja dibawa pergi

Jika suami sayangkan isteri
Sentiasa jujur perihal diri

Jika suami sayangkan isteri
Status berkahwin bangga sekali

Jika suami sayangkan isteri
Cintanya suci hingga ke mati

Adakah suami2 kita tergolong dlm kategori JIKA SUAMI atau KALAU SUAMI ?
JIKA SUAMI ... lebih banyak dari KALAU SUAMI maka bersyukurlah kerana
rumahtangga anda umpama SYURGA.
KALAU SUAMI.... lebih banyak dari JIKA SUAMI... maka berhati-hatilah. ..
wahai kaum isteri jangan sampai rumahtangga mu umpama NERAKA.

Bukankah lebih baik jadikan rumahtangga itu SYURGA dari menjadikan ia
NERAKA ?????
Tuhan YANG ESA....

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Abandoned for 2 weeks, starving dogs in Indonesia eat owner

Very strange and disturbing story but in 'dog eat dog world' this always happen.

September 06, 2011

JAKARTA, Sept 6 – Seven dogs starved of food and water for two weeks are suspected of eating their Indonesian owner after he returned to his hometown in Manado from a holiday, local media reported today.

A neighbourhood guard was curious when he saw luggage lined up at the front of Andre Lumboga's house, days after the 50-year old arrived back home. He approached the house, smelled something foul and called the police, according to a report.

"His skull was found in the kitchen, and his body was found in the front of his house," Eriyana, a local police chief in Batam, an island off Sumatra, told VIVAnews website.

Lumboga arrived home last Wednesday, but his body was just discovered yesterday.

"We suspect that the dogs were hungry, so they attacked Andre, because they had not been fed for 14 days," he said. Police also found bones of two other dogs, believed to have also been eaten by the hungry canines.

Lumboga was from northern Sulawesi island, a predominantly Christian area, where the local spicy diet is famous in Indonesia for including dogs, bats and forest rats. – Reuters

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Singapore's Origin

(i'm sure uncle reme will have the last laugh on this)

How Singapore got its name

Version 1: When Raffles stepped out of his boat on to Boat Quay, a man was running by announcing the birth of his son in Hokkien, 'see ta poh, see ta poh.'

Version 2: I thought the story was like this: The Malay/Indian King, Parameswara, was sleeping under a tree and was dreaming. He was rudely awakened by an animal resembling a lion. So, out of shock, he screamed 'Singa porda! Singa porda!' (which means, 'lion, get lost!')

Version 3: When Raffles sailed up the Singapore river for the first time, a Malay lady was bathing in the river, having left her clothes on the river bank. A Singh came by and stole her clothes. The upset lady started shouting after him, 'Singh Kapoh, Singh Kapoh'...

Version 4: 'Singapore' was actually translated from the name 'Singapura' in Bahasa Malaysia. Story goes that there was a prince that came to our island many years ago, on an exploration trip. Then he suddenly saw a lion and he named our island 'Singapura', which means lion city. Imagine if he had seen a pig instead of a lion. ('pig' in Malay is 'Babi')

Singapore and The Government

Two British men and a lady stranded on a desert island — they each took gentlemanly turns with the lady.

Two Italian men and a lady stranded on a desert island - the two fought and one killed the other to have the lady.

Two American men and a lady stranded on a desert island — they both had the lady together.

Two French men and a lady stranded on a desert island — they killed the lady to have each other.

Two Australian men and a lady stranded on a desert island — both dug until they found COLD beer, drank and passed out before they get to the lady.

Two Singaporean men and a lady stranded on a desert island — they are still waiting for instructions from the GOVERNMENT.


Singapore and Malaysia have different philosophies of life. This becomes apparent when we compare the two countries' Rules of Simple Living.

Singapore 1 - One Wife 2 - Two Children 3 - Three Bedroom Condo 4 - Four Wheels 5 - Five Figure Salary And indeed that is why 'Singapore is Solid'!

Malaysia? Well.. Malaysia 5 - Five Children 4 - Four Wives 3 - Three Figure Salary 2 - Two Wheels

Buying Brains

Dr M has great difficulty trying to find solutions to his country's economic and currency problems. He knows his brain isn't working well now. So he decides to go to the United States to have a brain transplant. He thought that with a new brain, he can think better and can find better solutions to the problems. The neurosurgeon asked Dr M if he wanted a cheap brain or an expensive one. Cheap brains are Singapore brains while the expensive ones are Malaysian brains. Dr M was simply overjoyed. He could not stop laughing. He said, 'At last, we have something more valuable than they have!' While smiling from ear to ear, and out of curiosity, he asked the neurosurgeon, 'but why are Singapore brains so cheap and Malaysian brains so expensive?' The neurosurgeon replied 'Oh, its very simple. These Singaporeans really overuse their brains. They don't just plan 1 or 5 years ahead. They plan a generation ahead. Malaysians, on the other hand, hardly use their brains. These brains are virtually brand new!'

Taken To The Cleaners

Two Malaysian Amats are walking along Boon Lay Road when they see a sign which reads: 'Suits $5.00 each, shirts $2.00 each, trousers $2.50 per pair'. Ali says to his pal, "Gerek, sial! We could buy a whole lot and when we get back to Johor, we could make a fortune. When we go into the shop, you diam-diam, okay? Just let me do all the talking 'cause if they hear our accent they might not serve us. I'll speak in my best Singapore accent." They go in and Ali orders 50 suits at 5.00 each, 100 shirts at 2.00 each and 50 pairs of trousers at 2.50 each. The owner of the shop says, "You're from Malaysia, aren't you?""Oh, ... yes," says a surprised Ali. "How come you know that?" The owner says, "This is a dry-cleaner"

Saturday, September 3, 2011


Keep working those cells or we might forget the who, when, where, what, and how....Cheers “The idea that Alzheimer's is entirely genetic and unpreventable is perhaps the greatest misconception about the disease,” says Gary Small, M.D., director of the UCLA Center on Aging.

Researchers now know that Alzheimer's, like heart disease and cancer, develops over decades and can be influenced by lifestyle factors including cholesterol, blood pressure, obesity, depression, education, nutrition, sleep and mental, physical and social activity.

The big news: Mountains of research reveals that simple things you do every day might cut your odds of losing your mind to Alzheimer's. In search of scientific ways to delay and outlive Alzheimer's and other dementias, I tracked down thousands of studies and interviewed dozens of experts. The results in a new book: 100 Simple Things You Can Do to Prevent Alzheimer's and Age-Related Memory Loss (Little, Brown; $19.99).

Here are 10 strategies I found most surprising.

1. Have coffee. In an amazing flip-flop, coffee is the new brain tonic. A large European study showed that drinking three to five cups of coffee a day in midlife cut Alzheimer's risk 65% in late life. University of South Florida researcher Gary Arendash credits caffeine: He says it reduces dementia-causing amyloid in animal brains. Others credit coffee's antioxidants. So drink up, Arendash advises, unless your doctor says you shouldn't.

2. Floss. Oddly, the health of your teeth and gums can help predict dementia. University of Southern California research found that having periodontal disease before age 35 quadrupled the odds of dementia years later. Older people with tooth and gum disease score lower on memory and cognition tests, other studies show. Experts speculate that inflammation in diseased mouths migrates to the brain.

3. Google. Doing an online search can stimulate your aging brain even more than reading a book, says UCLA's Gary Small, who used brain MRIs to prove it. The biggest surprise: Novice Internet surfers, ages 55 to 78, activated key memory and learning centers in the brain after only a week of Web surfing for an hour a day..

4. Grow new brain cells.. Impossible, scientists used to say. Now it's believed that thousands of brain cells are born daily. The trick is to keep the newborns alive. What works: aerobic exercise (such as a brisk 30-minute walk every day), strenuous mental activity, eating salmon and other fatty fish, and avoiding obesity, chronic stress, sleep deprivation, heavy drinking and vitamin B deficiency.

5. Drink apple juice. Apple juice can push production of the “memory chemical” acetylcholine; that's the way the popular Alzheimer's drug Aricept works, says Thomas Shea, Ph.D., of the University of Massachusetts. He was surprised that old mice given apple juice did better on learning and memory tests than mice that received water. A dose for humans: 16 ounces, or two to three apples a day.

6. Protect your head.. Blows to the head, even mild ones early in life, increase odds of dementia years later. Pro football players have 19 times the typical rate of memory-related diseases. Alzheimer's is four times more common in elderly who suffer a head injury, Columbia University finds. Accidental falls doubled an older person's odds of dementia five years later in another study. Wear seat belts and helmets, fall-proof your house, and don't take risks.

7. Meditate. Brain scans show that people who meditate regularly have less cognitive decline and brain shrinkage — a classic sign of Alzheimer's — as they age. Andrew Newberg of the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine says yoga meditation of 12 minutes a day for two months improved blood flow and cognitive functioning in seniors with memory problems.

8. Take D. A “severe deficiency” of vitamin D boosts older Americans' risk of cognitive impairment 394%, an alarming study by England's University of Exeter finds. And most Americans lack vitamin D. Experts recommend a daily dose of 800 IU to 2,000 IU of vitamin D3.

9. Fill your brain. It's called “cognitive reserve.” A rich accumulation of life experiences — education, marriage, socializing, a stimulating job, language skills, having a purpose in life, physical activity and mentally demanding leisure activities — makes your brain better able to tolerate plaques and tangles. You can even have significant Alzheimer's pathology and no symptoms of dementia if you have high cognitive reserve, says David Bennett, M.D., of Chicago's Rush University Medical Center.

10. Avoid infection. Astonishing new evidence ties Alzheimer's to cold sores, gastric ulcers, Lyme disease, pneumonia and the flu. Ruth Itzhaki, Ph.D., of the University of Manchester in England estimates the cold-sore herpes simplex virus is incriminated in 60% of Alzheimer's cases. The theory: Infections trigger excessive beta amyloid “gunk” that kills brain cells. Proof is still lacking, but why not avoid common infections and take appropriate vaccines, antibiotics and antiviral agents?

What to Drink for Good Memory A great way to keep your aging memory sharp and avoid Alzheimer's is to drink the right stuff.

a. Tops: Juice. A glass of any fruit or vegetable juice three times a week slashed Alzheimer's odds 76% in Vanderbilt University research. Especially protective: blueberry, grape and apple juice, say other studies.

b. Tea: Only a cup of black or green tea a week cut rates of cognitive decline in older people by 37%, reports the Alzheimer's Association. Only brewed tea works. Skip bottled tea, which is devoid of antioxidants.

c. Caffeine beverages. Surprisingly, caffeine fights memory loss and Alzheimer's, suggest dozens of studies. Best sources: coffee (one Alzheimer's researcher drinks five cups a day), tea and chocolate. Beware caffeine if you are pregnant, have high blood pressure, insomnia or anxiety.

d. Red wine: If you drink alcohol, a little red wine is most apt to benefit your aging brain. It's high in antioxidants. Limit it to one daily glass for women, two for men. Excessive alcohol, notably binge drinking, brings on Alzheimer's.

e. Two to avoid: Sugary soft drinks, especially those sweetened with high fructose corn syrup. They make lab animals dumb.

Water with high copper content also can up your odds of Alzheimer's. Use a water filter that removes excess minerals.5 Ways to Save Your Kids from Alzheimer's NowAlzheimer's isn't just a disease that starts in old age. What happens to your child's brain seems to have a dramatic impact on his or her likelihood of Alzheimer's many decades later.

Here are five things you can do now to help save your child from Alzheimer's and memory loss later in life, according to the latest research.

1. Prevent head blows: Insist your child wear a helmet during biking, skating, skiing, baseball, football, hockey, and all contact sports. A major blow as well as tiny repetitive unnoticed concussions can cause damage, leading to memory loss and Alzheimer's years later.

2 Encourage language skills: A teenage girl who is a superior writer is eight times more likely to escape Alzheimer's in late life than a teen with poor linguistic skills. Teaching young children to be fluent in two or more languages makes them less vulnerable to Alzheimer's.

3. Insist your child go to college: Education is a powerful Alzheimer's deterrent. The more years of formal schooling, the lower the odds. Most Alzheimer's prone: teenage drop outs. For each year of education, your risk of dementia drops 11%, says a recent University of Cambridge study.

4. Provide stimulation: Keep your child's brain busy with physical, mental and social activities and novel experiences. All these contribute to a bigger, better functioning brain with more so-called 'cognitive reserve.' High cognitive reserve protects against memory decline and Alzheimer's.

5. Spare the junk food: Lab animals raised on berries, spinach and high omega-3 fish have great memories in old age. Those overfed sugar, especially high fructose in soft drinks, saturated fat and trans fats become overweight and diabetic, with smaller brains and impaired memories as they age, a prelude to Alzheimer's..

Friday, September 2, 2011

Blank Check

President Obama walks into the Bank of America to cash a check. As he approaches the cashier he says "Good morning Ma'am, could you please cash this check for me"?
Cashier: "It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID"?
Obama: "Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am President Barrack Obama, the president of the United States of Am ... Erica!!!!"
Cashier: "Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers, etc I must insist on seeing ID"
Obama: "Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am"
Cashier: "I am sorry Mr. President but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."
Obama: "I am urging you, please, to cash this check"
Cashier: "Look Mr.. President this is what we can do: One day Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putting iron and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his check. Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot whereas the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his check. So, Mr. President, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the President of the United States?"
Obama stood there thinking, and thinking and finally says: "Honestly, my mind is a total blank~~~there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing"
Cashier: "Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?"