Thursday, May 31, 2012


He was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years, being high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the last 20 years without fail.

This 50th anniversary of their class, the widower and the widow made a foursome with two other singles.

They had a wonderful evening, their spirits high. The widower throwing admiring glances across the table. The widow smiling coyly back at him.

Finally, he picked up courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?"

After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes ... yes I will!"

The evening ended on a happy note for the widower. But the next morning he was troubled.

Did she say "Yes" or did she say "No?" He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. He went over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank.

He remembered asking the question but for the life of him could not recall her response. With fear and trepidation he picked up the phone and called her.

First, he explained that he couldn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the past evening. As he gained a little more courage he then inquired of her. "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say "Yes" or did you say "No?"

"Why you silly man I said, 'Yes. Yes I will.' And I meant it with all my heart."

The widower was delighted. He felt his heart skip a beat.

Then she continued, "And I am so glad you called because I couldn't remember who asked me!"

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Old Age Home

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him,
"How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"
"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a
bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No," he said. "A normal person would pull the plug.
Do you want a bed near the window?"

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Ball size.

There's a popular joke which many of you may have heard before. It goes like this:

Usually the shop floor staff of the company play football.

The middle-level managers are more interested in tennis.

The top management usually has a preference for golf.

Finding: As you go up the corporate ladder, the balls reduce in size

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Bill and hillary

When Bill and Hillary first got married, Bill said, "I am putting a
box under our bed. You must promise never to look in it."

In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. However, on
the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the better of her and she lifted the lid and peek inside.

In the box there were 3 empty beer cans and $1,874.25 in cash. After
dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her guilt and she confessed, saying, "I am so sorry.

For all these years I kept my promise and never looked in the box under our bed.

However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know why do you keep the empty cans in the box?"

Bill thought for a while and said, "I guess that after all these years
you deserve to know the truth.

Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again."

Hillary was shocked, but said, "I am very disappointed and saddened,
but I guess after all those years away from home on the road,
temptation does happen and I guess that 3 times is not that bad
considering the number of years we've been together."

They hugged and made their peace.
A little while later, Hillary asked Bill - "So why do you have all
that money in the box?"

Bill answered, "Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans....I took them to the recycling center and redeemed them for cash!"
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Saturday, May 12, 2012

Kelebihan Bercium

Ahli perubatan mendapati bahwa berciuman baik untuk kesihatan... bercium itu bukan hanya membuat seseorang merasa senang, tapi juga efektif melawan banyak penyakit. Apa saja keuntungan berciuman bagi kesihatan?

* Berciuman dalam waktu lama boleh membantu sistem sirkulasi kita. Ketika berciuman, detak jantung makin cepat hingga 110 degupan jantung per minit.

* Setelah berciuman, paru-paru bekerja lebih keras. Kira-kira 60 tarikan nafas per minit, dibandingkan dalam nafas normal, hanya 20 kali tarikan nafas per minit. ini baik untuk mencegah sakit paru-paru.

* Beberapa doktor gigi percaya, bahawa berciuman merupakan tindakan pencegahan gigi berlubang. Berciuman menstimulasi air liur yang boleh menghancurkan asam yang menutupi gigi.

* Berciuman yang berlangsung lebih dari 3 minit membantu kita melawan stress. Berciuman dalam waktu lama boleh menghancurkan hormon stress.

lagi... kelebihan berciuman .....

1. Pasangan yang memberi ciuman perpisahan setiap pagi kepada pasangan hidupnya rata-rata memiliki waktu 5 tahun lebih lama dari yang tidak melakukan rutin ini.

2. Berciuman baik untuk mendorong kepercayaan diri. Membuat seseorang merasa dihargai dan memberi ketenangan diri.

3. Berciuman membakar kalori, 2-3 kalori per minit dan menggandakan tingkat metabolis. Ada yang mengatakan, bahwa dengan berciuman bergairah tiga kali per hari (setidaknya 20 detik per ciuman) boleh membantu menghilangkan berat badan.

4. Berciuman dikenal sebagai penghilang stress. Berciuman penuh ghairah boleh menghilangkan ketegangan, mengurangi energi negatif, dan memproduksi rasa sihat, menurunkan hormon stress.

5. Berciuman menggunakan setidaknya 30 otot wajah dan mencegah pipi kendur. Otot pipi yang menegang karena ciuman yang bergairah mampu membantu kulit lebih halus dan meningkatkan peredaran darah.

6. Berciuman baik untuk jantung, menurunkan tekanan darah dan kolesterol.

So start kissing! =))
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To Be 8 again!

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching hiswife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.

'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror ....

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed .

'I meant my dress size, you Retard!!!!'

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.
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Friday, May 4, 2012

Old cock

A farmer rears 25 young hens and 1 old cock.

As the old cock could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer bought one young cock from the market .

Old cock: Welcome to join me, we will work together towards productivity.

Young cock: What do you mean? As far as I know, you are old and should retire.

Old cock: Young boy, there are twenty-five hens here, can't I help you with some?

Young cock: No! Not even one, all of them will be mine.

Old cock: In this case, I shall challenge you to a competition and if I win, you shall allow me to have one
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